nat: OK…I’d just like to say on behalf of the forum - and the mailing list - but mostly the forum [laughter] thanks very much to Simon, Jess, Julia, Nick and Edgar for coming. Thank you so much!

[applause]

We really appreciate it.

Simon: Wouldn’t miss it! Julia – come and sit here…

lilvixen and friend Cathy: BYEEEEEEEEEEE!!! [exiting]

EVERYONE: BYEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

nat: And also I’d like to say thank you all for coming as well, because I was shitting myself two weeks ago worrying that nobody would come. You’ve all turned out – you all look fantastic – I’m really thrilled - and…eat all the Jaffa cakes ‘cos I’m not taking them home with me! [laughter]

Thanks to Downsy - he did a wonderful job with the music [applause] – A1 with the quiz [applause] – and everyone else; they know what they’ve done…

The first question is from Muswell Hillbilly – Andrew.

Muswell: Is it? What did I ask? [laughter] This is addressed to all of the panel: obviously we all love your comedy roles in Spaced - what serious roles would you like to pursue in the future?

Simon: Shitting ‘eck! [laughter] I’d like to play Hamlet…no – I’d like to smoke a Hamlet [laughter] [to Jess] Staying Alive 3 is coming out, isn’t it?

Jess: Staying Alive 3 is coming out , yeh… a classical kinda thing? You know – I have not given that any kind of thought at all…

Simon: That shit’s for the birds, man… [laughter] …comedy’s where it’s at…

Jess: …maybe if there was a quality film about Margaret Thatcher…[laughter]…I’d like to give her some humanity…some sexuality…I think I could definitely lend something to that role.

To be honest, I haven’t given it any thought – that’s a really bad answer isn’t it? [laughter]

Simon: Julia’s done a lot of serious stuff, haven’t you?

Julia: [Marsha Voice] "Yeah…[applause]…My future is all in the past…I’ve bin there – dun it all…[laughter] …that’s the truth!" [normal voice] It is actually…

nat: Next – oscar! – Richard.

oscardb: This is to Simon: what sort of music do you listen to, to chill out to, or to work to, or just sort of generally relax to? Any particular genre?

Simon/Edgar [helping each other out]: We are listening to The Strokes at the moment…Super Furry Animals…Weezer’s new album…err…The White Stripes…The 45s…

Nick:…The Quo…[laughter]

Edgar: Queen’s Greatest Hits…

Jess: …so you’ve finally cottoned on to Status Quo?…

oscardb: Edgar was raving about the Pixies…

Simon: Yeah …absolutely…classic…

Jess: [holding a matchbook] What is on these matches?… "Caroline and John"?

nat: They were the two people who went to see Tim and Daisy’s flat when Marsha was selli…no they’re not they came from the wedding yesterday…[tails off] [laughter]

Simon: [pointing at Noodles] Tell me – that gun’s not real, right? [laughter]

nat: A question from Mightyzim.

Mightyzim: Jess and Simon: do you write exclusively for your characters in Spaced, or do you swap over?

Simon: No, we write for each other…

Jess: …both together…

Simon: It’s a collaborative effort; we feel that we know the characters well enough

to be able to do that…

Jess: If I write some funny lines…

[lilvixen and mate return]

Simon: you said you were going!

lilvixen: She’s just getting her makeup on![laughter]

Simon: That’s another fiver then… [laughter] Jess is the boss of Daisy and I’m the boss of Tim, so if Jess writes for something for Tim or I write something for Daisy we’ll look over it , and if we don’t feel comfortable – it’s very rare that we’ll change it –

Jess: …or if we think that there’s an obvious way of making it funnier, or if there’s a kind of gag missed or something that we would do…but there are things that I have written for him…

Simon: We trust each other…

Jess: Yeah…and if I write any funny lines for me, he tends to cut them…

Simon: …I tend to cut them out. [laughter] - because you can’t be too funny! … [to Jess] well, you can be…

lilvixen: We’re going now – she’s got her makeup on. [laughter]

Jess: Bye then!

EVERYONE: BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! [lilvixen and mate finally exit for good]

Nick: See you in ten minutes! [laughter]

nat: I hope they’ll be all right on the train.

Jess: They will be – the bar’s still open…[laughter]

nat: A1 – my love – Tara!…

A1TipTop: I have got to ask Simon a question that has been causing much debate on the forum… and that is: how did you get your scar? [laughter]

Jess: Basically, he built a cardboard car, and he stole the comics and plastered it, and drove it into…and there…that was it!

Simon: …it was one of these three reasons: I fell into the pond with the Batman comics/car; it’s the result of an operation…

Jess: …a lobotomy…[laughter]

Simon:…or I was doing some jumps on my Grifter when I was a kid – I leapt over…a man…[laughter]…and I crashed, and I hit my head…

…no, I had an operation on my forehead when I was a child to remove part of my brain, ‘coz I was too funny…[laughter]…just think what could have happened…no – I had a birthmark on my head when I was a kid, and I had it removed at Bristol Children’s Hospital – it’s the result of plastic surgery, and that’s the truth…

Nick: [Mike-"bitter" voice] Happy now? [laughter] [Simon joins in]

nat: Doctor V – Christopher.

Doctor V: Nick – you burst onto television like a Colossus [applause] - what were you doing before?

Nick: I was in Big Train a little bit, but before then I was a waiter for ten years – so if anyone wants a… dessert, or something…[laughter]…I can sort that out for you…

Simon: I met Nick ‘cos he was working at a restaurant where my dad’s girlfriend was working, and she said "there’s a guy at the restaurant that’s very funny and he wants to be a stand-up comic…"

Nick: …and he introduced you to me!…[laughter]

Simon: …and I sat next to him, and I wrote him a list of comedy clubs, [to Nick] which you still have…

Nick: Yeh – it’s in my wallet…

Simon: …and when it came to doing Spaced I thought that Nick was too much of a talent to go to waste. When we had the meeting with LWT we said "one stipulation - we want Nick Frost to play Mike - it’s a deal-breaker…" and they went "yeh, sure, OK" - and now he is one of the greatest actors in the country!…

[huge applause and whooping]

nat: Mr HappyDaiz himself -Tony…

HappyDaiz: Hi – I’m HappyDaiz…

Simon: You don’t know how many problems we had finding that name for episode 6 series 1…

Jess: …ooooo yeah…

HappyDaiz: I’ve got two questions, but I’m only gonna ask the one: where in the name of Jehova can I get all six episodes of Asylum?

Edgar: Aaaaahhh - nowhere…

Jess: I’ve got them actually…

Edgar: I’ve got them…

Jess: It’s complicated because…

Edgar: It was never likely to get shown on terrestrial TV because when they did the contracts they only signed the contracts for cable TV, so, even though Channel Four at one point wanted to show it, it just was impossible. It will never be shown again, I don’t think, unfortunately…

Simon: …rarer than a Penny Black…

Jess: If you want the copies, leave your address and we’ll send it to you. It’s worth a look!

Simon: Let’s say…ten pounds! [laughter]…per episode…

Edgar: We were gonna try and put a scene from Asylum on the DVD - we tried to find one, but it was kinda…

Simon: …shit… [laughter]

Edgar: …there wasn’t much that worked out, and we probably wouldn’t be allowed to. We’d have to clear it with all the other actors…

Simon: …Nobby Shanks…

HappyDaiz: How is Julian Barrett?…how is he doing?

Edgar: He’s doing very well. Julian Barrett has finally redeemed himself after pulling out of the role of Brian…

HappyDaiz: …he would have been fantastic as Brian…[ groaning from the audience]

Edgar: Can I just say on record that Julian Barrett would have been fantastic as Brian, but Mark Heap - round of applause - is equally fantast…

[drowned out by huge applause and cheers]

Edgar: But…Julian Barrett has now finally left Avalon, which was the reason that he didn’t do Spaced… he’s very very funny in Lucky Break, which is coming out in cinemas shortly…and we’re all still friends…

Simon: …we don’t talk about it…

Edgar: …we don’t mention the "S" word with Julian [laughter]

Simon: No, ‘cos there were terrible contractual wrangles that went on, but…I mean, what happened with Mark coming in was that Mark changed the role. When Jess ‘n’ me wrote Brian, he was a very arrogant, slightly up-his-own-arse kind of character, and Mark came along and made him the loveable guy that you all love…["awwww"s]

…so that’s Mark’s legacy. Not that Julian wouldn’t have been great…next question…

nat: err…Tiger – Martin.

Tiger Marty: Is it me…Oh shit…[rolling a cigarette]

Simon: You’ll get no sense out of Tiger. Tiger’s fucked - look at him! [laughter] …skinning up…

You can’t do that in the Corrib!

Tiger Marty: …sorry…[gets out a bit of paper]

Nick: Hello - he’s prepared something…

Tiger Marty: ["reading"] "Dear Simon and Jess"…[laughter]

Jess: "…where are you?"…that was when we weren’t gonna come!…

Tiger Marty: "Bread, Eggs…" [groans from audience] "Your characters have changed significantly - can I camp it up any more? –

nat: …no…

Tiger Marty: "…I think throughout the two series, Tim had gone from, in my opinion, a bitter rejected aspiring comic artist to a more well-adjusted, level-headed fella…"

Simon: yes…

Tiger Marty: thanks… [laughter] "…Daiz has changed from a flighty, ditzy, flappy…" - I wrote this when I was pissed -

Simon: …what do you mean "when" you were pissed? [laughter]

Tiger Marty: "…a flighty, ditzy, flappy sorta chick, into a more relaxed secure-ish, down-to-earth fox...."

Jess: Thankyou sir…

Tiger Marty: "The change in characters - PTO - represents an actual and normal change in circumstance and friendship…"

Simon: "true or false"?…

Tiger Marty: "…the point is…" [laughter]

Jess: …skip to the end…[laughter]

Tiger Marty: [bathos] Can I be an extra in Series 3? [laughter]

Simon: The answer is "yes!"

EVERYONE: EEYY!!! [applause]

nat: [abashed] I wouldn’t have let you ask that.

Simon: well – in answer to the first question, because it’s a live-action show – it’s not The Simpsons – we wanted the characters to evolve. It’s not that likely that Tim would spend that long mooning over Sarah…you know, we wanted them to change, wanted them to go through life experience, and be different, and yet still be them. So, there are changes in the characters…

Jess: …and that was a very deliberate choice…

Simon: Absolutely. There was a moment when we’d written the second series and there were things going on - when Daisy (sic?) did her big barnstorming speech in the restaurant, they didn’t follow her out or anything. It just seemed very down, at times, and we just thought, "fuck it!" you know, let’s have them do some good. They’re not gonna be movie-stars, they’re not gonna succeed beyond the stars, but they can at least have some kind of "come-back" from life, so we thought that’s gonna happen to them for the rest of their lives...

Who knows? I mean, at the end of Series 3 when the car crash…[gasps] Shit! [laughter]

Jess: Also, in a way, we are kinda distinguishing ourselves from the other sitcoms that have characters that are the same in every episode…

Edgar/Simon/Jess: …Game On…[laughter]

Jess: Sam Janus was apparently gonna come tonight…[laughter]…but the idea is that the characters have to be the same every episode, and that the world which they inhabit is the same. Whereas in Spaced - amongst many other things - one of the things we wanted to do to differentiate Spaced from those sitcoms, was that the characters developed, and they did grow and change within the two series – a natural progression.

nat: Raven was gonna ask a question, but he had to go, so I’ll ask it for him. [to Simon] I think he asked you before, but as this is open, it would be nice…

We have had a lot of histrionics – justified histrionics – for the last week on the off-topic section of the forum because of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones [boos]…

Simon: I think it’s brilliant…[laughter]…sounds like a rectal disorder! Listen, the first time I heard - Edgar texted me…

Edgar: …he thought I was joking…

Simon: …I thought you were joking: my immediate reaction was "you prick! – again!", and then I thought, well, you know, as me and Nick discussed, Return of the Jedi, The Empire Strikes Back, all the titles of the Star Wars films are Saturday matinee titles - Michael Palin went…

Nick: Pole to Pole…

Simon: and then again, Around the World in 80 Days…y’know, what I’m thinking now is so fucking what, who gives a shit - I’m not gonna see it I am I am gonna see it…

[laughter]

["crying"] …I really care…[laughter] If he’d called it The Clone Wars, you know…we all knew what the Clone Wars were – Ben Kenobi said…Episode IV: A New Hope! That’s a shit title! That was the first one! [laughter]

nat: I haven’t got any more names down, but I’m assuming that we could do…some sort of fourth-form hands-up-picking…any questions?

pubwebmaster: Nick: Is Mike gay? [laughter and applause]

Simon: Are you? That’s for us to know and for you to find out…

Nick: I really don’t know…no, I think he’s just…he doesn’t fancy men, but he’s frightened of women…so I dunno where that leaves him…

Simon/Jess: …gay…[laughter]

Nick: Alright he’s gay! [cheers] I am straight. [laughter]

Jess: Yes, add that, to make that very clear…

Simon: There’s no answer to that, other than the fact that we were gonna give Mike a girlfriend in the second series, but it felt like a cop-out so we didn’t - make of that what you will…

Nick: She would have had to have been like that woman out of Police Academy…

Simon: Oh yeah, with the big guns…

Edgar: Tackleberry’s girlfriend…

nat: I think there’s a question on the floor – quite literally…

oscardb: Burning, burning question we have to know: when Sophie goes to Seattle and all that sort of business, you left her a note. We want to know what the note said…could you tell us?

Simon: It said "Dear Sophie, I’m sorry I couldn’t come to the airport with you, because y’know, you’re dead fit ‘n’ all that [laughter] but Daisy’s decided to go to Colwyn Bay and I really have to go and stop her. So if you don’t mind, I’m sending Mike along to take you and I’ll drop you an email…

[laughter and applause]

Nick: [going to the loo] I’m out of here…[laughter]

Simon: [to a retreating Nick] She’s not my girlfriend!…[laughter]

nat: Surely there must be other questions?

pubwebmaster: Jess – specifically – when I was thinking back about sitcoms that have has female writers, I came up with Fawlty Towers, The Young Ones and The Royle Family, all of which are far above average. Do you think you have contributed to making Spaced far above average, by being a woman?

Simon: Yes!…

Jess: I don’t think I have contributed to Spaced by being a woman; I think I have contributed to Spaced by being very funny…[laughter]

Simon: …and talented…[cheers]

pubwebmaster: I think the biggest thing that Spaced has going for it is the empathy between the viewers and the characters…

Edgar: Game On was co-written by a woman!…

Jess: Spaced is certainly an amalgamation…

Nick: [returning] Sorry I’m late…[laughter]

Jess: …of Simon’s and my comic desires and imaginations, so, in that way, yeah…I don’t know…I suppose the gender thing is an irrelevancy, in a way - that’s how I’d see it…

pubwebmaster: …Spaced has such strong characters from the moment we see you on screen – we know who you are and see things in you…

Jess: Yeah – I suppose it has got everything: it’s got chicks and guns, and I suppose in that sense…

Simon: …my cup of tea…[laughter]

Noodles: Has anyone on the panel - with the exception of Tiger [sitting as if on the panel] – ever lived in a Spaced–esque environment: for example, have you ever shacked up with anyone you met in a café, or socialised with a bloke downstairs…

Simon: Tiger? [laughter] Well, [to Jess] that element of the first series came a lot from you, didn’t it, ‘cos you’d had quite a few experiences like that…[heads off to the loo]

Jess: …Yes – well, the whole Marsha thing: I lived in a flat in Camberwell, and upstairs lived a woman and her seventeen-year-old daughter… They just used to row all the time, and all you’d hear was rowing rowing rowing and then she would come down and say "Oh I’m so sorry – did you hear anything – was it loud?"... That was basically what Marsha and Amber were based on: that idea of people living downstairs and upstairs and rowing… I’ve lived in lots of odd places throughout London, throughout the nineties [jujuheyhey’s mobile phone starts ringing] and a lot of things in Spaced - turn it off! [laughter] – it’s different kinds of house-sharing experiences. I don’t think any of us have lived an experience that was very specifically Spaced – all the things in it are grabbed from different bits of our experiences…

nat: Going on from that - the "Professional Couple Only" Green Card thing: at the start of the second series it says "that isn’t important now" , [phone starts ringing again] and yet it all explodes in the last-but-one episode…[laughter as Nick answers jujuheyhey’s mobile] - I’m being upstaged by a mobile…[more laughter] I was wondering - when you first decided to set up the mock-relationship, did you want to explode it…or was it just a device for getting them two together…?

Jess: It was a device for keeping people interested, because I suppose in that way, that was quite constructed, the idea of two people who were obviously well-suited but not getting together. That is an obvious device, and is a device that really works in terms of just keeping people interested throughout the series. It’s a "Will They Won’t They"…

Simon: Yeah…we came to the conclusion as well that the reason that the X-Files is so successful is not because of some tapping into some zeitgeist or the UFO fashion, it was the fact that Mulder and Scully never got it off…or on…

Jess: But it also tied in with other themes, like the phenomenon of the friendship – you are [gesticulates] "friends" but you can fancy each other…sort of like the Morecambe and Wise thing…

nat: …like When Harry Met Sally…

Jess: …exactly…

Julia: [Marsha-voice] It’s just like real life…[laughter] There’s a real chemistry there, but they won’t acknowledge it…

nat: But right from the start, did you want to explode the relationship dramatically? Did you want to tell Marsha as soon as you invented the fact that it was gonna be a secret…

Simon: No – it became less important - it wasn’t until we came to write the sixth episode of the second series when we decided to bring that aspect back. We wanted to start from a really obvious sitcom scenario – "ooh, they’re not really a couple! Is she gonna find out?" – and then we just let it go, you know, and then we got on with it. We accepted the fact that Marsha didn’t know that, and the scene in episode Six, as I’m sure you’ll all agree, when Marsha finds out, and she weeps, is a fantastic moment…

[applause]

…is when we decided to bring it back, and Julia dun us proud!…God bless ‘er!…[laughter]

pubwebmaster: A question for Julia: did you base Marsha on Abigail (sic) from Abigail’s Party?

["ooh"s]

Jess: she should have that part…

Julia: Ooh – I hope not! Did it sound like that? [various murmurs of opinion and comment] I based it on this lady’s husband, who’s sitting in this room [points] – Marina – who lives in this very road, and her husband, Danny, is an artist, and he’s got this ability to be eternally optimistic in any situation, and I thought that was the key to Marsha. She actually rises above everything that happens to her. Also, she’s partly based on a woman I met on a holiday in Greece, who lives in Brighton, who is permanently pissed [laughter], permanently topped up with the red wine, and equally optimistic, and she did come from an arty background, art school and the whole thing… it was an amalgam of those two.

Jess: The sodden matriarch!…[laughter]

Julia: [Marsha-voice] Yeah…[laughter] But Abigail’s Party…

Simon: We never wrote Marsha to be like that…

Julia: My performance has nothing to do with what they wrote, unfortunately…

[jujuheyhey’s mobile rings again]

Jess: God – Nick, I think it’s getting a bit tired now!…[laughter]

Julia: Nick – it’s my turn now Nick…[laughter]

Nick: [handing over phone] Gail – call mum. [gales of laughter] (geddit?)

Simon: The first time we read the script through, in the American Church on the Tottenham Court Road, Julia came up with that voice, and Marsha was born…

Julia: …and you were all very worried…

Jess: I wasn’t!…

Simon: …and that was all Julia…and she wrote the line "fucked off to Top Shop…" – one of the best lines in the whole thing – and "Baco the Foil" was you, wasn’t it? [cheers]

Edgar: Julia is the Harrison Ford of Spaced…

Simon: Any more, or shall we drink?

pubwebmaster: Simon and Jess: when you decided to go into comedy, who were you idolising - who did you think were the sort of people who made you want to be a comedian, or comedy writer?

Simon: Joe Pasquale – Bradley Walsh – Jim Squires - Duncan Norvelle - "Chase me" - no, I dunno… Vic ‘n’ Bob, and Rick ‘n’ Ade, and… Ick ‘n’ Mood…[floundering] Rick Kannade – he was great…[laughter] everyone’s great…

pubwebmaster: [to Simon] You went into comedy before anybody knew who Vic ‘n’ Bob were…

Simon: I did! No I didn’t! – 1990…

Jess: Nick actually got to shoot Mrs O last week – I don’t know if any of you know her – Acorn Antiques [murmurs of recognition from audience] That’s why he’s all cocky!

Nick: I shot that bitch dead! [laughter]

Simon: [to Jess] You cried when you met Victoria Wood…

Jess: oh shut up!…[laughter]

Simon: She met Victoria at the Baftas, and she went "Hello!…unintelligable crying noises…" [laughter]

Simon: …anyway – Girls on Top for her…I’m speaking for you now –

Jess: You know, Tony Hancock, [getting prompted by Edgar, Nick and Simon in turns] Tony Hadley, Tony Heart [laughter] , Monty Python, Woody Allen, Richard Pryor…

Nick: Doc Cox…

Jess: Dot Cotton! [laughter] All the greats…Big Daddy Kane…

Nick: Doctor Legg…[laughter]

pubwebmaster: You’re just wanking on about bollocks now – with respect…[laughter]

Simon: Good point…well, Vic ‘n’ Bob, and lots of people, you know… In 1989 when they were on tour doing Big Night Out, I was a student, and Thatcher was resigning and stuff, and I remember actually wanting to watch that rather than Margaret Thatcher walking out of No. 10…

Jess: I don’t think you were alone there! [laughter]

Simon: Well, it was good to see that old cow go, but anyhoo…

Nick: That’s my mum you’re talking about!

Simon: You’re Margaret Thatcher’s son? [laughter]

Jess: Nick is Margaret Thatcher’s love-child!…[laughter]

nat: Chorlton…Gordon…

Chorlton: After your appearance in Brass Eye, what did you think of it?

Simon: …no I didn’t! I wasn’t there – I wasn’t in it! [laughter]

nat: You were "named and shamed", mate, in the News of the World…

Simon: I was thoroughly pleased with it all! [applause] I think that Chris Morris just won’t take any shit from anybody, you know, and to put himself basically under siege – the Daily Mail photographed him going to Oddbins, apparently, which is just ridiculous…

Jess: …but, you know, what fucking hypocrisy! - the newspapers suddenly purport themselves to be pillars of morality, when their only interest is making money, and the only reason that they are doing it is because they think there is a bandwagon to get on and it’ll sell papers…

Simon: …and ironically on the same day as they ran a thing about Brass Eye in the Daily Star, on the facing page was a story about Charlotte Church’s tits…

pubwebmaster: "I’m a Big Girl Now" , and she’s only 15…

Simon: Yeah – and in the Daily Mail they were showing pictures of Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie in bikinis!

Jess: I think people miss the difference between satire and comedy… satire is a vital part of any democracy, and comedy something totally different, and what he was doing was doing was satire about something that is very real: the sexualisation of children, in the coverage of paedophilia in the media…

Simon: …but more than that – he was talking about something that is even more of a sacred cow, which is that kids are kids until a certain age, and then suddenly we are supposed to leer over them when they’re naked, you know, and where’s that line drawn? As an adult, your own view of a child as a sexual object… the fact that you want to dress your children up, the fact that the guy in the stocks - who I played – said he doesn’t fancy "Chris’s" son, he (Chris) is upset, because he wants his son to be found attractive! , and parents can be found guilty of that. It’s a very difficult subject, and Chris took it on. You have to respect him for that.

Jess: But what I do think it interesting about it is it’s probably the most talked-about programme that I haven’t actually seen…

Simon: I know for a fact that it was weird for Edgar watching, because his girlfriend’s ten! [laughter]

nat: Do you think that there is a more taboo subject to deal with?

Edgar: Necrophilia…

nat: Bestiality…

Simon: Phantom Menace…[laughter]

pubwebmaster: Necrophilia is a victimless crime!

Simon: "…your Honour" [laughter]

A1TipTop: To lighten it up a bit…what is your opinion on the decision about the word "mongs" in The League of Gentlemen? [laughter]

Edgar: I think the word "mongs" is really funny… [laughter]

Simon: We phoned them up on the day…because they were slightly ribbing us for Brass Eye, calling us "paedophiles" and stuff, and we started calling them "mongheads"…The fact is, it’s kinda funny…

Edgar: The thing is, in defence of them, it’s the character, Bernice, who is very un-PC, and she is saying something that is offensive…

Jess: But ultimately, language is only powerful as a weapon if you invest it with that, if you make it a weapon, but if you defuse it and make it into something else then it is then… defused…by usage…which is another way of looking at it, I suppose…

pubwebmaster: It is nice to see the return of the word "spastic" to our screens, after about ten year’s absence…

Simon: We used the word "spastic" on the Spaced DVD…

Jess: [to Simon] Did we?

Edgar: We say "spastic" on the DVD…

Simon: Well…serve them right…we hate those League fuckers! [laughter]

nat: A really specific Spaced question: what’s your favourite line - that you remember - of your own character, and why?

Nick: "Fetch me my tools!"

nat: That’s a nice one…

Nick: It is a nice one…err…come back to me – let me have a think…

Edgar: …in the whole show? My favourite line in the whole show is probably "I’m not your dad, Mike…now here’s your sandwiches, I’ll pick you up at five…" [murmurs of approval]

Simon: Ah…"It’s an axe. Feel the weight." [laughter] No – my favourite line is probably "Daddy Cool"… [cheers] Jess, what’s yours?…

Jess: "I’m like a rabbit trapped in the headlights of the 21^st Century…" [cheers]

Simon: Julia – your favourite line?

Julia: Any that’s mine, actually…[applause] [Marsha-voice] "Fucked off to Top Shop with the housekeeping!"

A1TipTop: Nick’s looking down the quotes! – he’s cheating!…[laughter]

Simon: One of my favourite lines of Jess’ is when she goes "I’m a good writer!" – no comic value, just all in the delivery…Jaffa cakes too, of course…

Nick: My favourite is [Sixth-Sense voice] "A laydee!"…[laughter]

Simon: We had some real problems filming that, ‘cos I couldn’t stop laughing…whenever he said "There’s been an accident! Someone’s been hurt!…" "Who?" "A laydee!"…[laughter] I think that’s on the DVD, isn’t it?

Anon: If Spaced was a big Hollywood blockbuster, which Hollywood movie star would you like to play your characters and why?

Simon: Mine is Simon Pegg, cos I’ve heard he’s…[laughter]…he’s a wanger!…

Edgar: [pointing] John Cusack [Tim], Janine Garofolo [Daisy], Jack Black [Mike]…

Jess: [protesting]…not Janine Garofolo!…[laughter]

Edgar: What?…She’s good!…

Jess: Angelina Jolie…

Simon: Angelina Jolie?

Jess: Yeah – I think she could be Daisy…

Simon: You’re better than her…

Nick: I’d quite like Hoskins to play Mike [laughter]

Edgar: [Jess and Edgar are still arguing over the charms of J Garofolo] She’s a comedy genius!

Jess: [fist aloft] Garofolo this!…

Simon: [pointing] Pitt [Tim], Roberts [Daisy], err…Hoskins[Mike],

Edgar:…or Albert Finney!…

Simon: …and – err – Julia Deakin!

nat: Muswell?

Muswell Hillbilly: I’ve actually thought of a question: We’ve all noted on the forum the sad demise of Douglas Adams. Should they - whoever "they" may be - do a HitchHiker’s film?

Simon: I was watching HitchHiker’s Guide on TV and I was amazed how dated it was! There is a HitchHiker’s tribute in the first episode of the first series - the "mouse-spider". It would be nice to see it realised in the full Hollywood style…

Anon: Who would you get to be the characters? They have mentioned Hugh Laurie, Jeff Goldblum as the kooky American…

A1TipTop: Gary Oldman…

Simon: It would be great to have an actual two-headed actor as Zaphod Beeblebrox [laughter]

pubwebmaster: I think you’re being a little unfair when you say it’s dated: the acting is may have dated, the style’s certainly dated, but the script is perfect…there’s not a single line wasted…

Simon: It’s still very good – yeh – I agree that the production is what lets it down…

oscardb: Katy Carmichael: big character in the first series; in the second series, the blossoming relationship between her and Brian was killed dead because she was busy with other commitments, I think… Do you plan to make more of her character in Series 3?

Simon: No…we hate Twist; we think Twist is the most two-dimensional character…[laughter] And we’re trying to write her out because we don’t like Katy Carmichael – she’s very very rude [laughter] very difficult to work with – we want to boil it down to five characters because… [laughter]

Edgar: She takes coke…She’s a very bad actress…

Simon: She’s always on drugs…[laughter] The diminishment of Twist in the second series was entirely due to the fact that we only had Katy for five episodes, and very briefly anyway. Another thing that was difficult is that the relationship between Daisy and Marsha was blossoming, and a lot of time when it would have been Twist, it ended up being Marsha being her confidante and friend. There is no reason why Twist and Daisy are friends. There is a thing on the DVD about how that happened; the fact is Twist is a force of tactlessness and very glamorous - Katy’s performance in the sixth episode of the second series in the restaurant is fantastic - her enjoyment of the fact that they tell Marsha – she was like "Ooh! Here we go!" – but, the way that the second series was going, the way that we had to write it because of Katy’s availability, Marsha kinda took over. Twist is a part of the main six; she’s not gone t Manchester for good – she will come back…

oscardb: She will make a brief cameo appearance…?

Simon: No! It’s still the six characters, you know…Sophie obviously took over as the sixth character in a way in the second series, and no doubt Sophie will come back [cheers and boos]. You know, we tried so fucking hard – we said – "We don’t want Sophie to be a bad girl; we want her to be a good, likeable character". We wanted the spanner in the works to not be someone that you went "Oh shit! It’s her!", and yet you still fucking hated her…

nat: no! – she’s lovely!

Anon: Is Sophie a good kisser? Is that why…

Simon: No – I’ve got a girlfriend – I don’t need to kiss actresses…[laughter]

PrincessofPower: Non-Spaced question, but it’s been playing on my mind for about two weeks: for you Simon. You’re a SW fan; I’m a David Lynch fan. And DL was supposed to direct Return of the Jedi, when it was called Revenge of the Jedi. How do you think it would have come out?

Edgar: Crispin Glover would have been in it, for starters…[laughter]

Simon: I don’t think it would ever have happened…I think George Lucas would have ever gone for his ideas, I think it would have been a very interesting thing, but a very different film. George Lucas is such an autocrat, you know – the guy’s Jabba the Hut [laughter] – he just wouldn’t have settled for any of David Lynch’s ideas. I like David Lynch a lot, but I think that it would have been …something to watch, anyway…There’s be loads of close-ups of light sabers going into heads…you know?…[laughter]

nat: Is that it? OK…well, I’d like to thanks the panel again for being here today, and answering all our questions…[applause, whooping] Let’s go and drink!