Black Books Quotes, Which are your fave's??? Options

[Clart]

Bernard: Old wine is good wine.

Manny: Yes, but… expensive wine is good wine, also.

Bernard: Yes. But the older the wine is, the gooder it is.

Manny: Ah. But by the same token, the more expensive the wine, then the gooder it is also.

Bernard: Look at the colours.

Manny: Yeah.

Bernard: All… all the colours. Well, yellow.

Manny: This is like… a farmyard of… of wine.

Bernard: It’s like looking into the eye of a duck.

Manny: And sucking all the fluid… from its beak.

Bernard: …touché. And because you win, you get to go to the cellar.

Manny: Eeyy!

[Chapman Baxter]

Bernard: Well, whores will have their trinkets.
___

Fran: Will you look at these... breasts.
___

Fran: Sex! Sexy sex!

[Clart]

Well, you should put a lock on the door anyway because I was in there, I was on the toilet and everything, little Jimmy comes in, he’s drinking milk from the fridge and that’s all wrong. It’s unhygienic. And, and what were you thinking, what was going through your brain when you thought, “Oh, yeah, I’ll buy a wicker toilet”?

[Blind I/O]

Oh, I live alone in a tree, I live alone in a tree, I live alone in a tree, and nobody loves me

[Clart]

Fuckin' 'ell, I love Black Books. I've only just realised how much...

Mmmmmmmmm.

[whitey]

Just the classics:

Fizzy-good make feel nice
I ate all your bees
and
There was a little man in his hair.

[thirtyhelens]

B: All the colours, all the colours, well yellow. It's like looking into the eye of a duck.

Still my favorite. That's staying power.

[Jinx]

"You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it."

"Well I fell. It was so.... un-gallant."
"Wheras going to the toilet through a wicker chair... well, we've all been there."

"Yes, what!"
"Those books over there."
"Yes, Dickens. The complete works of Charles Dickens."
"Are they real leather?"
"They're real Dickens."
"I have to know if they're real leather, because they have to go with the sofa. Everything else in my house is real. I'll give you 200 for them."
"200 what?"
"200 pounds."
"Are they leather-bound pounds?"
"No?"
"Well, I'm sorry I need leather-bound pounds to go with my wallet!"
DING!

[butterfly_with_a...]

Just been watching them all again, and have found masses of excellant quotes! (THAT WAS RESEARCH!)

Manny: Hello!? Hello! This is Lonely Soldier, coordinates......Book Shop!

Cleaner: Yes you have very dirty cups, I want to wash your dirty cups!

Fran: Okay, if I told you that the walls of my flat were actually moving in, would you think that I was strange?
Bernard: No, I'd ask you to come 'round and look after my small children.

Fran: Do you know that in Tibet when they want something they give something away?
Bernard: Do they? That must be why they're such a dominant global power.

Manny: Is space hot?
Bernard: Of course it is, where do you think we get pineapples from?

Manny: I've swallowed the Little Book of Calm.

Bernard: I've never said it before because I'm too nice, but your son has the cold, dead eyes of a killer.

Fran: Do you know nothing about modern culture, Bernard? Beckham, Posh, Pokemon...
Bernard: Pacman. It's pronounced Pacman.

Fran: You said he had a funny smell.
Bernard: He did. He did. He had a living beetroot smell

Bernard:It's all rubbish! Nobody is prepared to admit that wine doesn't have a taste.
Manny: Of course you can't taste anything, you smoke eighty bajillion cigarettes a day. What's that you're eating?
Bernard: It's some sort of delicious biscuit.
Manny: It's a coaster!

Bernard: [gibbering] They'd all laugh at me if they knew what I was trying to do... to create a new strain of super-wine in a half an hour with a fraction of nature's resources and a FOOL for an assistant. "Bernard Black, he's mad," they'd say. "He's insane. He's dangerous." Well I'll show them! I'll show them all!

Customer: [brings back copy of Tempocalypse] I bought this for a friend, and they didn't want it, I was wondering if i could exchange it, preferably for the money
Bernard: [grabs the book and begins flicking through it rapidly then stops] AHA! sand!
[collects some onto his finger]
Bernard: Manny!
[sprinkles it into manny's mouth]
Manny: [tasting the sand] Sardinia... South... Porto Scudo... THe little beach by the monastary
Bernard: [to customer] get out!
[shoves his book back into his hands]
Customer: Damn!
[leaves]


Sorry for the mass postage, but they'll be more!

[feckless_dykey_p...]

go you butterfly_with_a_bomb?!!!!

keep on posting!

you know that black books is great!!

[spacegurl]

"Your son has the cold dead eyes of a killer"

and

Manny:" Bernard.
....
Bernard
....
Bernard.
....
Bernard.
I'm a prostitute robot from the future."

This post has been edited by spacegurl: Jul 19 2005, 11:43 AM

[Ohio_is_for_love...]

"Your son has the cold dead eyes of a killer"

and

Manny:" Bernard.
            ....
            Bernard
            ....
            Bernard.
            ....
            Bernard.
            I'm a prostitute robot from the future."

Man i love that one,

"I want to clean you dusty cups from the inside out" (may be ever so slightly wrong)

[Jinx]

"Dirty!"

[butterfly_with_a...]

Nononononono, It's fun! Fun! FUN!

[feckless_dykey_p...]

Just remembered this one...

Evan - "Don't eat muffins when i'm developing you."