Lyrics that make you go hmmm!, Not exactly Shakespeare, is it... Options

[JeffStuka]

I'm surprised this hasn't been done yet. Lines from songs that are so Aldi they're almost Lidl.

This came to me because someone sang a knobhead Williams song

In the morning when I wake up
I look like Kiss but without the make up.

It's a bit dildo, innit.

[whixie]

That damn Desree song 'life':

"I don't want to see a ghost,
It's a sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news"


and

"bungee jumping, I don't care"

It's a terrible, terrible song and annoyingly catchy. The words should be 'life, no lfe, no life...do doo doo do doo'

[Igmeister]

That old forum favorite James Blunt......

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.


EDIT: Reminds me of may god-awful 6th form poetry. At least Ihad the decency to stop

This post has been edited by Igmeister: Jul 27 2005, 03:10 PM

[Zoe]

There just aren't enough songs written about hand jobs...

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I'd have to charge

[Chapman Baxter]

Good old Paul McCartney:

'But if this ever changing world in which we live in...'

[whitey]

Some Shania Twain lyric I remember hearing:
"You're a fine piece of real estate, and I'm gonna get me some land."
I also remember choking back sick.

[widowspider]

"lightning crashes, a new mother cries
her placenta falls to the floor
the angel opens her eyes
the confusion sets in
before the doctor can even close the door

lightning crashes, an old mother dies
her intentions fall to the floor
the angel closes her eyes
the confusion that was hers
belongs now, to the baby down the hall"

Live - Lightning Crashes. I actually love this song for its downright weirdness of lyric choice.

[Blind I/O]

I've already confessed my utter adoration for the rhyming couplet technique, but when this came on in the gym I had to stop rowing because I couldn't control the laughter. Best. Intro. Ever.


Papa Roach - She Loves Me Not

When I see her eyes
Look into my eyes
Then I realize that
She could see inside my head
So I close my eyes
Thinking I could hide
Disassociate so I don't have to lose my head
This situation
Leads to agitation
Will she cut me off?
Will this be an amputation?

I don't know
If I care
I'm the jerk
Life's not fair
Fighting all the time
This is out of line
She loves me not, loves me not
Do you realize
I won't compromise
She loves me not, loves me not

Over the past five years
I have shed my tears
I have drank my beers and watched my fears fly away
And until this day
She still swings my way
But it's sad to say sometimes
She says she loves me not
But I hesitate
To tell her I hate
This relationship
I want out today
This is over

I don't know
If I care
I'm the jerk
Life's not fair
Fighting all the time
This is out of line
She loves me not, loves me not
Do you realize I won't compromise
She loves me not
Life's not fair
I'm the jerk

Line for line, ryhme for ryhme
Sometimes I be writin’ all the goddam time
It’s makin’ me sick
Relationship is gettin’ ill
Piss drunk stupid
Mad
On the real, could you feel
What I feel, what’s the deal girl
We’re tearin’ up each others world
We should be in harmony
Boy and girl
That is a promise we made
Back in the day
You told me that things wouldn’t be this way
I think we should work this out
It's alright baby, we can scream and shout.

I don't know
If I care
I'm the jerk
Life's not fair
Fighting all the time
This is out of line
She loves me not, loves me not
Do you realize I won't compromise
She loves me not, loves me not
Life’s not fair
Life’s not fair
Life’s not fair
I’m the jerk
Life’s not fair
She loves me not
Loves me not




Creative end, too.

This post has been edited by Blind I/O: Jul 27 2005, 05:07 PM

[Sostie]

There just aren't enough songs written about hand jobs...

...but what one's there are are great.


I got your picture of me and you
You wrote "I love you" I wrote "me too"
I sit here staring and there's nothing else to do
Oh it's in color
Your hair is brown
Your eyes are hazel
And soft as clouds
I have to kiss you when there's no one else around

I got your picture, I got your picture
I'd like a million of you over myself
I want a doctor to take a picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got me turning up and turning down
and turning in and turning 'round

I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

I got your picture, I got your picture
I'd like a million of you over myself
I want a doctor to take a picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got me turning up and turning down
and turning in and turning 'round

I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women
No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark
Everyone around me is a total stranger
Everyone avoids me like a Psyclone Ranger
Everyone

That's why I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so...

[Blind I/O]

To be fair though, there was a lot of punk about self-masturbation... Not too many songs about the good kind...

One of my favourites taking your lead, though;

Well you tried it out for once,
Found it alright for kicks.
But then you found out
It's a habit that sticks

You're an orgasm addict
You're an orgasm addict

Sneakin' in the back door
With dirty magazines
And your mother wants to know
What are those stains on your jeans?

You're an orgasm addict
You're an orgasm addict

Uh huh, uh huh, uhhhhh, uhhhhh [x3]

You get in a heat,
You get in a sulk
But you still keep beatin'
Your meat to pulp

You're an orgasm addict
You're an orgasm addict

You're a kid cassanova
You're a no-joseph
It's a labor of love
Fucking yourself to death

You're an orgasm addict
You're an orgasm addict

Uh huh, uh huh, uhhhhh, uhhhhh [xlots]

You're makin' out with school kids,
Winos and heads of state
You've even made it with the lady
Who puts the little plastic robbins
On the christmas cakes

Butcher's assistants and belhops
You've had 'em all here and there
Children of god and their joystrings
International women with no body hair

So you're asking in an alley
And you're voice ain't steady
The sex mechanic's rough
You're more than ready

You're an orgasm addict
You're an orgasm addict

Johnnie want fuckie
All ways and always
He's got the energy
He will amaze

He's an orgasm addict,
He's an orgasm addict.

He's always at it

He's an orgasm addict

This post has been edited by Blind I/O: Jul 27 2005, 05:43 PM

[Stella MM]

In a similar vein, the lyrics from an Outkast song will stay with me forever:

Drip drip drop
There it goes - an eargasm
Now you're coming out the side of your face


Heeeuurgh.

[PrincessKate]

A high-powered girlie, her name is Gayle.
A funky-fresh girlie, she ain't stale.
Ev'ry time I see her she makes me hard as a nail.
I was sittin' at my house drinkin' ginger ale
Watchin' Montey Python and the Holy Grail,
Then I got a phonecall it never fails
It came all the way from a college called Yale.

There's more, but it makes even less sense with the same rhyme-scheme.

This post has been edited by PrincessKate: Jul 27 2005, 07:29 PM

[JeffStuka]

In a similar vein, the lyrics from an Outkast song will stay with me forever:

Drip drip drop
There it goes - an eargasm
Now you're coming out the side of your face
Heeeuurgh.

Outkast are the daddies. Shake it like a polaroid picture.

[Agent Pickle]

New Born by Muse. I like Muse, but the guy does write some truly cringeworthy lyrics.

I have played in every toilet
But you still want to spoil it
To prove I've made a big mistake

[spacegurl]

No way no way, mah-na mah-na
No way no way, mah-na mah-na
No way no way, mah-na mah-na
Not today ... don't ya get fresh with me

Possibly the worst song ever.