Red Nose Day 2009, Another Spot of Comic Relief Options

[rabbit57i]

Launch Day At The London Red Eye

[Raven]

Launch Day At The London Red Eye

Looks like a good evening to un-plug the telly . . .

[Starscream`s Gho...]

Looks like a good evening to un-plug the telly . . .

It usually is.

[NiteFall]

Red Nose Day is on March 16, and among the highlights of that night’s telethon will be

    * A sketch featuring Catherine Tate on Deal Or No Deal
    * The last ever episode of Vicar Of Dibley – with Sting as guest star
    * A celebrity version of The Apprentice, featuring Jo Brand, Piers Morgan, Alistair Campbell and others
    * An airing of the live Little Britain gala featuring such celebs as Kate Moss, Dennis Waterman and Peter Kay
    * Car Booty – Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders try to sell some of the contents of their home at a car boot sale.

These are highlights?

[Starscream`s Gho...]

These are highlights?

Well let's face it, last time the highlight was watching Peter Kay walk on a treadmill to a Tony Christie song. At least, that's all I can remember.

[Omniscia]

Can't Sting just stick to his 16th-century folk music, or Ritchie Blackmore run him out of town on that endeavour?

[Zoe]

I thought the last episode of 'The Vicar of Dibley' was on over Christmas?

I'm surprised they can make anymore since Dawn French appears to have eaten the rest of the cast.

[Starscream`s Gho...]

I thought the last episode of 'The Vicar of Dibley' was on over Christmas?

I'm surprised they can make anymore since Dawn French appears to have eaten the rest of the cast.

Meow.

[Zoe]

There's a line. I'm all for women being curvy and healthy (me included), but there's a line. Recently she has got ridiculously overweight and morbidly obese is not a look to be encouraged.

Mrs. Guy of Gisbourne? As if.

[Starscream`s Gho...]

There's a line. I'm all for women being curvy and healthy (me included), but there's a line. Recently she has got ridiculously overweight and morbidly obese is not a look to be encouraged.

Mrs. Guy of Gisbourne? As if.

It'll be all those Chocolate Oranges. I hope I'm not alone in seeing the irony of her husband doing VO for the Hellman's Lite ads.

[Zoe]

It'll be all those Chocolate Oranges.

My favourite 'Hard Sell' ever...

In April 2002 there was an episode of Room 101 in which, among other things such as caravan holidays and child-friendly restaurants, Ricky Gervais listed Children In Need as one of his pet hates. His problem was not so much that he had to endure the cast of Birds Of A Feather assassinating Lady Marmalade but with "people like Dawn French ... telling us there's not enough food. I mean, why's that then, eh?"

Nearly three years on and, as her latest ad for Terry's Chocolate Orange clearly proves, French is bigger than ever. Based on the flimsy notion that people the world over are still struggling to prise their chocolate orange open (cue images of Frenchmen playing pétanque with one, geishas karate-chopping them, etc) we arrive in Britain where a bookish woman sits alone in a country kitchen, daintily tapping her chocolate orange on the table-top to no avail. Suddenly, a sasquatchian figure appears at the back door and proceeds to barge its way in, although given that it is French (who must now be at least 20 stone), it's safe to assume the old dear heard her coming. "Don't tap it!" French screams, brandishing a rolling pin. "WHACK IT!" At which point she smashes the orange open and tucks in, her sausage fingers snaffling up the segments. Then, as the little old lady reaches out to take a piece - it is, after all, her chocolate orange - French repels her, like she hasn't had enough already.

Like Pete Doherty becoming the new face of Holland & Barrett, there is something inherently wrong in the idea of Dawn French advertising chocolate. It is nothing short of disgusting to see a morbidly obese woman joyously cramming confectionery into her mouth. But French, it seems, can get away with it. If Rik Waller or Michelle McManus did it, there would be outrage. People would take to the streets, Lord Jamie Oliver would launch another of his campaigns and parliament would be recalled for an emergency sitting on tightening up the censorship laws. French does it, though, and it's funny. Or rather, it's not. If there's a better advert for eating fruit, I've yet to see it.

[gulfcoast_highwa...]

That's hilarious Zoe. Who wrote it?


(please don't say Russell Brand).

[Zoe]

That's hilarious Zoe. Who wrote it?
(please don't say Russell Brand).

Gavin Newsham it was the weekly 'Hard Sell' in 'The Guide'.

Looking at archive it appears to have appeared in November 2005, the fact I remembered it is testament to its quality.

[Rua]

Well let's face it, last time the highlight was watching Peter Kay walk on a treadmill to a Tony Christie song. At least, that's all I can remember.

Coogans return as Partridge with Pegg being interviewed as the once Milky Bar Kid turned child prostitute was alright.

This post has been edited by Rua: Feb 2 2007, 10:51 AM

[Zoe]

And let's not forget Ronnie Corbett falling off said treadmill, which was hilarious.

Simon Amstell's McFly interview with contributions from Catherine Tate was very good to...

"Was you upset when Charlie left?"