IPB

Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

4 Pages V   1 2 3 > »   
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> Black Books Quotes, Which are your fave's???
feckless_dykey_p...
post Jul 18 2005, 05:03 PM
Post #1


South London to Kent. Oh yes.
*****

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 1,459
Joined: 9-June 05
From: London
Member No.: 4,064



okay, so Black Books is great! lets face it! laugh.gif

so, what are your favourite quotes from the likes of Bernard, Manny and Fran...??

my fave's are:

BERNARD: Don't you ever use party as a verb in my shop!
*******************
MANNY: Right now, I'm eating scrambled eggs, with a comb, from a shoe.
*******************
BERNARD: It's all rubbish! Nobody is prepared to admit that wine doesn't have a taste.
MANNY: Of course you can't taste anything, you smoke eighty bajillion cigarettes a day. What's that you're eating?
BERNARD: It's some sort of delicious biscuit.
MANNY: It's a coaster!

POST AWAY!!!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
maian
post Jul 18 2005, 05:11 PM
Post #2


Bully for you
******

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 20,419
Joined: 25-February 05
From: behind a desk, sitting very still
Member No.: 3,498



Jehovah's Witness: Hello, we were wondering if we could talk to you about Jeeee-sus

Bernard: Gah! What time is o'clock
Manny: Half ten
B: Half Ten! Half ten! I've never been up at half ten. What happens? Have you ever bought a book...at half ten in the morning?
M: Well, no, now that you mention it.
B: That's right, that would be a world gone topsy turvy. People don't want books in the morning, it's too early.
M: Well if this were a bakery this would be quite late.
B: What!? I won't have any cheek. I'm sorry son. I've made a mistake. You don't have what it takes, to sell a book. People don't want them in the morning.
Customer (wearing a 'I Love Books' T-Shirt: Hello (B looks perplexed) I'd like to but a book please
B: What books?
C: I dunno I'm just really in the mood to by a book.
B: Get out we're closed!
C: Maybe I'll swing by the bakery.

M: It's a farmyard of colour
B: All the colours, all the colours, well yellow. It's like looking into the eye of a duck.
M: And sucking all the fluid from it's beak.

And a great outtake

B: This is my roof! And I like it!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Punkass
post Jul 18 2005, 05:13 PM
Post #3


GRACE!
*****

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 1,555
Joined: 8-April 05
From: North Texas
Member No.: 3,791



Bernard: Fran and I are going out for drinks. We've bought some absinthe, it's the drink that makes you want to kill yourself instantly.

Also keep an eye out for Kevin Eldon in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: He played The Cleaner in one episode, as well as one of the Agents in Spaced.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Sean of the Dead
post Jul 18 2005, 05:14 PM
Post #4


Conscience gets expensive, doesn't it?
******

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 7,210
Joined: 14-December 04
From: Schrute Farms, Scranton, PA
Member No.: 2,924



Bernard: He's a horse in a man suit.


Bernard: Everyday is another betrayal.


Bernard: Go on, go to your 'fancy man'.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Blind I/O
post Jul 18 2005, 05:16 PM
Post #5


Would you like to see my mask?
******

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 8,101
Joined: 6-October 04
From: Yorkshire - a place, a state of mind
Member No.: 2,406



The delivery of

"With a pickle"

Is nigh on perfect.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Starscream`s Gho...
post Jul 18 2005, 05:19 PM
Post #6


Alley Viper
******

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 11,843
Joined: 29-December 04
From: Cobra Island
Member No.: 3,024



Customer: Look, there's no other way to say this, but I didn't come in here to be insulted.

Bernard: Well, I didn't ask for the job of insulting you. In another life, we could have been brothers. Running a small, quirky taveria in Sicily. Maybe we would have married the local twins instead of wasting each other's time here in this dump. But it was not to be. So hop it.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
butterfly_with_a...
post Jul 18 2005, 05:20 PM
Post #7


Goth Fairy
*****

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 1,044
Joined: 30-March 05
From: The Zooniverse
Member No.: 3,743



Bernard:BEANS!

Bernard: He's up there right now, out of his head on nip!

Bernard: Oh yeah!? What other man divides his eggy soldirs into rank?
Manny: It's just a bit of fun!
Bernard:Ah so you wont mind if I eat this one-
Manny: DONT TOUCH THE COLONEL....It'll upset the rest of the men!

Bernard: This paint will make a tasty dish! Yes! Yes! My oven can cook anything, my oven can cook...... BITS OF OVEN!

This post has been edited by butterfly_with_a_bomb?: Jul 18 2005, 05:20 PM
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Starscream`s Gho...
post Jul 18 2005, 05:26 PM
Post #8


Alley Viper
******

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 11,843
Joined: 29-December 04
From: Cobra Island
Member No.: 3,024



Fran: (talking to Bernard about about him and Manny) You know, if the two of you could do something relaxing together, this place wouldn't be so tense.

Bernard: What? Every time we bicker we should have sex? Just have a drink and be yourself again, will you?

Fran: So what's it like then? The fags and booze.

Bernard: Well, to be honest, after years of smoking and drinking, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...

Fran: Yep...

Bernard: You know, just sometimes, in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that four hundredth glass of cornershop piss at 3am, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...

Fran: Yep...

Bernard: ... "this is fantastic. I'm in heaven."
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
feckless_dykey_p...
post Jul 18 2005, 05:51 PM
Post #9


South London to Kent. Oh yes.
*****

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 1,459
Joined: 9-June 05
From: London
Member No.: 4,064



also Dylan Moran's face when he is sleeping on the sofa with a cigarette in his mouth in episode 1.2, when he wakes up....CLASSIC! biggrin.gif
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Ingram
post Jul 18 2005, 06:18 PM
Post #10


.
******

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 6,111
Joined: 27-February 05
Member No.: 3,514



One of my favourites has always been...

Bernard: (on Manny) Look at him, look! Half Iago, half Fu Manchu... all bastard!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Footbacon
post Jul 18 2005, 07:53 PM
Post #11


Feets
***

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 494
Joined: 9-October 04
Member No.: 2,445



Manny Bernard, do you think I should shave my beard?
Bernard Yes. I think you should shave it off. Nail it to a frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Julie
post Jul 18 2005, 08:11 PM
Post #12


Hot Lips.
******

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 9,204
Joined: 6-February 05
From: Toronto
Member No.: 3,352



Something about a beard seeking missile.


I've just today gotten my roommates quite thoroughly hooked on the show smile.gif
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Clart
post Jul 18 2005, 09:49 PM
Post #13


Three Pinter
***

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 362
Joined: 14-October 04
Member No.: 2,518



Which one of you bitches wants to dance?

Hey, you know when youíre doing your usual sort of threesome you do of a weekend, you know, and er, the moonlightís bouncing off your heads and your arses and everything. Does that not get a bit confusing?

Right. Look, this is you, OK? *dances around* Tra-la-la la-la la-la la-la, la-la la-la la-la la-la la-la la-la la-la!

Millwall, thatís the one. Do you know this chant? ErmÖ Millwall, Millwall, youíre all really dreadful, and all your girlfriends are unfulfilled and alienated.

*thwack*
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Clart
post Jul 18 2005, 09:54 PM
Post #14


Three Pinter
***

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 362
Joined: 14-October 04
Member No.: 2,518



I like the idea of using this in a really quiet car showroom (but have never had the opportunity stroke guts.)


I've never had the opportunity to stroke guts, either, while I'm at it.


Anyway, the quote:

QUOTE
WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?! IíM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING HOUNDED BY SALESMEN IN SHOPS! IíM BROWSING, ALL RIGHT?! BROWSING! AT THE END OF IT I MIGHT BUY SOMETHING, I MIGHT NOT! BUT YOU WILL NOT INFLUENCE ME ONE IOTA! NOT ONE JOT! NOW, IíVE FINISHED WITH YOU, YOU MAY GO!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
maian
post Jul 18 2005, 09:56 PM
Post #15


Bully for you
******

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 20,419
Joined: 25-February 05
From: behind a desk, sitting very still
Member No.: 3,498



Evan: Now, one of our valued younger customers has blocked up the toilet with Monser Munch. Now, as a team, how are we going to tackle this?
Manny: We could call a plumber
E: (Holding out a bucket and plunger, passes them to Manny): Go Team!

E: Gather round team. Today was a silver star day, tomorrow I want Gold. Selling books, is like a game. It has rules, and you better learn those rules quick cos it's not a game!

Simon Pegg-Great in everything he does.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post

4 Pages V   1 2 3 > » 
Reply to this topicStart new topic

 



Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 18th April 2014 - 06:07 AM