This week's rumble is between 2 stupid but fun, fantastic, bombastic, action extravaganzas

CON AIR
Mullet haired, bunny lovin' con with a heart of gold, helps the authoro-tehs to track down and halt the prison escape he has inadvertently become part of. Lots of explosions, slow-mo and violence ensue. Stars Oscar winner Nic Cage & Mr Pink.

THE ROCK
Mild mannered chemist (bunny affiliations unknown), helps the authoro-tehs to thwart a bunch of baddies who have broken into a prison. Lots of explosions, slow-mo and violence ensue. Stars Oscar winner Nic Cage & James Bond.


Vote, vote, vote...

This is another good one. Both dumb but very fun films, for me it's Con Air by a mile. What a great cast playing great quirky roles: Nicholas Cage, John Malkovich, John Cusack, Steve Buscemi, Ving Rhames, Danny Trejo... OK, The Rock has Sean Connery, but the other characters aren't as strong as those in Con Air.

So many great moments: 'Put the bunny back in the box', 'He's got the whole world in his hands', the plane crash. For me the film is summed up by the scene when Nicholas Cage is finally kicking ass and he gets shot in the arm but shrugs it off and keeps on coming. So dumb but so satisfying.

Sostie does it again!

I think it has to be The Rock for me. It was one of the first in a line of nonsense action films around the same time, with which I quickly became bored and irritated. But for a short while you could believe that Nic Cage was indeed a new movie hero for the 90s, and The Rock allowed you to revel in unadulterated good quality action for two hours. Con Air, for me, was the beginning of the rather ugly decline - and despite John Cusack and Steve Buscemi, was emabarrassingly camp and ridiculous.

I had to vote for the rock. because it, well, rocks. although it ain't no Face Off my friend.

I love them both, but Con Air just shades it for me, thanks to John Cusack, Action Hero!

Such a difficult choice this week Sostie!

Although it was a close call, I had to go with Con Air - for the reasons Chapman went for. And the car being towed behind the plane. Genius.

This is a tricky one.

The Rock has the sentimental value of trying to recreate scenes with my mate when we went to Alcatraz, and also wins points for the timeless line, "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen".

However, Con Air is pretty darn fun - to be fair, if we could have recreated a plane crash-landing on the Strip while we were in Vegas, we would have done that too.

I'm gonna go with....Con Air, for thewhole world in his hands and supporting cast.

Both are terrible, terrible, terrible!

I've never been able to understand how anyone could come close to liking either film! I mean, I love dumb action movies - Commando's one of my all-time favourites. But these films cannot even be enjoyed on a 'laught at its over-blown jingoism and silly set-pieces' level.

The action scenes make me feel so indifferent - a big explosion here and there isn't enough! The jokes are not even bad funnies - they're just smug and crass.

A kind of arrogant forced 'cool' permeates throughout both the films, with a dopey mentaility that seems to suggest that if we shoot them looking cool, saying cool things and doing cool stuff, it'll be cool, right? NO!

And Nicolas Cage is perhaps the least interesting actor in the world. Talking in a mumbling drawl while looking like you've been awake for 48 hours is NOT COOL! Its a shame that so many good actors stoop to make a Bruckheimer flick just for the fat paycheck. I mean, if you like The Rock or Con Air, then you may as well say Armageddon and Gone in 60 Seconds are works of genius too.

These films are just dumb. Not fun. Each one is a dumb, stupid, infantile mess of a movie. If you want insane action scenes, watch Hard Boiled. If you want quips and tough guy action, watch Die Hard. Stop watching these dumbed-down, pseudo-macho movies and watch the real thing - Arnold Schwarzenegger!

That may sound like a contradiction, but its true - I'd rather watch a one-man and a rocket launcher take out a small army than a craggy ex-Bond star and a whiney Beatles fan (oh look, he's not a 2D action hero - he collects vinyl Beatles records! pur-lease!) stop Ed Harris from melting San Francisco - or a wrongly convicted (boo-hoo!) mullet man stop a plane-full of murderers from escaping.

Tedious dirge of the highest (or should that be lowest) order.

For shame!

Oooh, I love a good reaction.


I'd agree with both those points. The forced cool is funny to me, though - it's the same appreciation I have watching Keanu Reeves. I cannot abide Nicholas Cage (except in Raising Arizona, oh - and I can watch Adaptation without burning up in a fiery ball of hate).

Well it's nice to have some variety in films. Why restrict your choices to the best ones?


I love Con Air but I haven't seen The Rock, so I'll reserve my judgement 'til I have.

You should. With beer. And loud volume.



What do you want me to do, kill him again?

You've been around a lot of dead guys. Is that normal? *points at twitching dead guy*

I'm getting tempted to change my vote...

Con Air. One of those movies I watch with an open mouth.

and a thread of drool running down your chin.

'Con Air' is a perfect film - there is nothing I don't like about it. An amazing cast, brilliant dialogue, perfect pacing, thrilling action, Cusack eye candy, lots of laughs - what's not to love? Even Leanne Rhymes provides the perfect level of cheesiness to the finale, which is then brilliantly contrasted with the film's anti-hero getting his happy ending.

"New shooter coming out, new shooter. Does the new shooter feel lucky?"

Sweet Home Alabama!

I was watching Never say never again the other day. The urine sample gag from Porridge gets recycled in that fim as well as The Rock.

Con Air for me, the casting is brilliant and I love the opening credits montage with Mr Cage doing more and more ridiculous press-ups and learning origami - it's like something out of Naked Gun. Con Air has the most sense of it's own ridiculousness, great lines and some top action. The Rock is also a great film but a little too long and just not as much fun. The music is one of the best action movie soundtracks ever though IMO.

I'm not a much of an advocate of Bruckheimer, to be honest. Never was. Con Air is pure bombastic shlock gold, though - Robin's right, it's that tongue in cheek-ness that seals the deal. Plus Simon West, though still a hack, isn't nearly as hacky as El Bay.

The only thing The Rock has going for it are the locations. And even those are stuck playing fifth or sixth fiddle.

The Rock.

The Rock remains to this day the loudest film I've seen in a cinema, but Con Air is a better film. Mostly because Connery isn't in it.

Agreed. Why o why does he do this to himself....and look what came up when I did the IMDb search

He was in Sonic Underground?

and then "oh dear". Does he not have enough money already. But he was in this

I'd take the red diaper any day over the teddy bear suit.

Izzard and Ryder were funny, though.

For my money, it's The Rock. Yes, even though it has perhaps the dumbest quip in any action film to date:



But San Francisco has always been good to action films, in terms of streets appropriately steep for a car chase. And the music was not half bad for a Bruckheimer flick. And, I'm sorry, but Connery is always fun, as far as washed-up, scenery-chewing, well-past-their-prime stars go.

Me too. The Rock all the way

The Rock got Connery but Con Air got Malkovich. Malkovich is better.

Agreed, just. Con Air for me too. It has Colm Meaney swearing a lot in it, too. And Ving and Malkovich doing his best panto villain.

"Cy..."
"...Onara!"

~BOOM~

And of course...

"Put...the bunny...back in the box."

And who could forget...

"One girl, I drove through 3 states wearing her head as a hat..."
"Is he alright?"
"My guess would be, no."

Double post crapness.

Ummm... wasn't LeAnn Rimes who sang the song at the end - 'twas Trisha Yearwood. They recorded the song at the same time, but for some reason Yearwood's more countrified version was chosen! There's a bigger explanation on the net as to why the Yearwood version was used, but I'm damned if I can find it!

But, as for my vote. Con Air. There's nothing I don't like about it, either. Plus, it's one of the few movies whose ending can make me shed a tear!

best..line..Ever!

"On any other day, that might seem strange."

Con Air all the way man, the high calibre of acting talent appearing in this flying pantomime; Malkovitch is more of a "serious" actor than Connery, Steppenwolf et al, so its a lot more fun to see him apear in a piece of out and out schlock.

The reformed serial killer, the maintainance of Cage's principles from the Gulf war, the "irony" of the black guy who wrote that book about slavery whipping people,the schmaltzy little girl...Man I think its actually the best film ever made, Citzen Kane my arse.

Had they made it a musical, it would have been a strong contender.

...and with more nudity...and ninjas!

They shoulda just cranked that campness to the max!

It had a cross-dressing prison-bitch. How much more camp could it have got?

A lot more. More fluffy bunnies. Real ones. With Nic Cage singing "How do I live without you?" in a sparkly purple dress for the finale.

Yep. Actually, yes, that would be much more camp. And also, something I would watch.

Although I think I would go with "Big Spender" for the finale. Money falling on Vegas, I think it would work.

And it should have ended happily for everyone,;Cyrus and the Cage character (whats his name? Doesn't matter does it, all his action movie characters are the same) should have had some sort of big duet about how they can learn to get along for the finale, with the knife throwing guy from "Desperado" (Im not imagining him in that movie am I?) and the cross-dresser dancing lke Fred and Ginger on that oil pump thing.

You said it.

Nope - Danny Trejo