Fuck. I definitely listen to too much Radio 4. I've already heard this programme about the ridiculously posh gated gardens of Notting Hill.

I'll listen to Shack tonight seeing as I'll be staying in to do work.

Shackatack, is there a theme for questions this evening?

I'm trying to find out, but Bobby Wobby Fischface is being all quiet.

As soon as I know, I shall break da news.

What a bastard.

He's probably just walking the dog.

You are quick to turn young Julie. I shall have to watch your fiery temper at SONY II.

If I'm not dancing on bars, I'm beating defenceless animals at the zoo. New York just does something to me.

It's true - within half a day she had stopped apologising to people who pushed her on the subway. How soon they turn...

Tis da spiwit of da twoo noo yoiker.

I cwan't wait to wide da Swubway.

Now that's just not true!

People will think you're one of the junkie hobos asking for change with that accent.

Anything for extra cash.

I'm going to London this weekend so I'll be dressing as a chimney sweep and asking for more gruel.

And Nottingham, don't forget your gun

I'll be dressed as a merry man.

Topic for Discussion for tonight's Gobstopper....

This week marks the 50th anniversary of Scalextric, so send us your toy memories from childhood, things that broke dead easily, things you still have now, things your mum sold off when you weren't looking.

gobstopper@bbc.co.uk

Go cat go!

Thank you everyone for e-mailing in - again, it's greatly appreciated.

You is funny.

I can't believe the Geoff Capes in Empire Strikes Back was a lie. I'm going to write to the inventor of the internet and give him a damn good thrashing.

Great show as usual Shack, and thankyou for the birthday wishes. The last time I got a Happy Birthday on air was from Mark & Lard, so you are in good company.

Thanks Mr S.

We got a complaint last night from some old codger who rang our runner person and said something along the lines of:

"Who are those arseholes who love the sound of their own voices?"

Hooray!!!!!

We're big time.

Controversial!

Just as you started to read out my email, someone called me and I missed the entire 5 minute part where you kept wandering off the point. I was half trying to listen and the person on the phone was getting really annoyed.

Shucks. Bloody work getting in the way.

However, as every Shack fan knows, you can (altogether now) "listen again"!!!

I'm "listening again" right now and Bob's just made happy with Human League. Good show so far, Shack.

Glad you enjoyed it Mr C.

In other news, the far-reaching impact of Gobstopper has spread to Wikipedia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geoff_Capes

Hee hee hee.

You're famous!

Do you know whether it's the same person as who complained last time?

Not sure.

It'll be another of the people who listen to Radio Cleveland 24 hours a day every day and if something slightly different happens, they'll complain rather than change the station they listen to.

He probably loves us really.

Glad to hear about your escape from a flaming death smash.

I lied about the flaming part, though there was smoke.

Well, I say smoke but I mean steam. It's almost the same.

Were you in a car?

I think you had a bit of a stumble near a freshly poured mug of tea.

My show tonight will feature lots of lovely music, discussion on American football, and testing how much the songs warned on Lovegodsway.com can really convert people to homosexuality.

Edit: the link is in my signature, just to be a helpful soul.

Hope the show went well Edster.

Did you hear back from my "man on the inside"?

I haven't got around to e-mailing him yet because my Uni term has just started up and this week has been just mad. Will definitely e-mail him this weekend and let you know what he says.

Coolio. Now don't forget. I had to pull a number of strings to get you that. Well, I say a number of strings, I asked Karen Slater and winked at her and then she told me.

On the very special Valentines Gobstopper, we have two little legends.

Yes. TWO!

Confirmed at the moment are: Andy Crane and Sid Waddell.

BAM!

I got a reply today and he was most helpful and made some good suggestions about what I should do. Cheers for the help Shack.

In other news:

In a shameless attempt to boost ratings, How To Recycle A Goat is this week going to be Hot Fuzz themed after I nabbed an interview with Simon, Nick and Edgar off of my housemate. The rest of the show will be made up of music from Spaced, Shaun and Hot Fuzz, a review from me and the usually rambling non-sequitors.

Come again?

My housemate interviewed them last week and I should be getting a copy of it off of him to play on the show. If the lazy lad transcribes it sharpish.

Smashing! The wheels of the corporation ground to a halt whenever a man with a beard asks a question. Let me know if you need any other ears to bend.

On tomorrow's Gobstopper show...

We've got top spoof comedy football manager Bob "The Gob" Doolally
(Go on, Google him), top CAMRA bod Denise Powell, who's bringing in some
daft beers for us to try (it's the big beer festival at Arc in Stockton this week), and
Sid "Football's just a branch of science" Waddell - the voice of darts (there's only one word for that - magic darts).

Andy Crane has gone AWOL, so I'm assuming he's having a nice romantic evening with Wilson the Butler and Ed The Duck.

The topic for discussion via e-mail will be romantic comic-tragedy and Valentines gone wrong from days gone by. Nothing utterly soul destroying but something you can now look back on and laugh would be good.

E-mails to:

gobstopper@bbc.co.uk

Me love you.

Hahaha... Oh, you'll be hearing from me...

Cool!

Hot news - Andy Crane is IN!!!!

Those four exclamation marks made me extra excited.

I've just been listening to Paul Weller being interviewed on World Cafe. He's hard to listen to.

"Blah kinda sorta blah blah kinda kinda blah I suppose sort of blah kinda sorta blah I dunno blah kinda blah yeah definitely yeah kinda sorta."

It's breaking news indeed. I checked my mails before coming on here and nearly did a little excited plop.

I hope Wilson the Butler is stood in the background.

Shame its not "Andy Crane is OUT!!! " . You'd get an exclusive and everything.

Anything can happen on the globally approved day of love Mr S. I might even actually like one of the CAMRA ales I've got to taste, which frankly is a long shot because I'm a pasty thin lager drinker and not a hairy beefcake who likes drinking bitter.

If you can prompt an amendment to Wikepedia I am sure "turning" Andy Crane won't be a problem at all.

Ooh, are you going to have a conkers-style ale giveaway? I am a hairy beefcake. Well, I'm hairy.

Not sure. I only find out about that stuff when I get there. Ruins the element of surprise you see. However, sending ale is in a different cost league than sending a conker.

Or even two conkers, sent seperately.

Mr Sost - it depends how many Crane fans are listening. I would imagine lots.

We're being sent home early because of the ice storm, and we don't have internet at home yet, which means I will miss the show.

Poop.

Woohoo, they kicked off with one of my suggestions! I win!

What was it? I missed the first 20 minutes

I don't know, but they are telling your brilliant gouging the bass player story at the moment. Fantastic!

I realized as soon as he started telling the story that I was actually quite embarassed by it...