We only read the good ones sunshine.

We've been twitching our noses in the air recently, and Fischer decided that his favourite current whiff is that of a wood fire on a chilly day... lovely whisps of dancing smoke lifting their way from country chimneys as a milk-white frost gathers on trembling gossamer strands. His least favourite smell is that of a fat dog's farts.

So where do you stand on this thorny issue? E-mail your thoughts please to gobstopper@bbc.co.uk and we'll read them out on the radio!

We are joined by a brace of stonking studio guests this Wednesday night, da 24th October... live in the studio is a Teesside actor described by Gorezone Magazine as “the new face of British horror!” He’s the star of box-office horror smashes like Dog Soldiers and The Descent, and he’s currently filming the first Hammer Horror film for over 30 years... he’s the lovely LES SIMPSON.

And we’ll be picking over the bones of Boro’s disastrous start to the season, with a former Boro midfielder who’s now BBC Tees’ own expert pundit! Wandering into the studio for a chinwag is the gorgeous GARY GILL.

Plus the latest music and film reviews from our cultural correspondent IZZY ISGATE, and the usual cooler-than-school music, bizarre listener contributions and rambling nonsense.

Gobstopper with Bob Fischer and Shack… Mondays and Wednesdays from 7-10pm, on BBC Tees 95FM, on DAB Digital Radio and online at bbc.co.uk/tees.

I've just sent my first email to Gobstopper. I'll have to Listen Again this weekend because I'm sure there will be some interesting responses this week.

I'm sure I could make a few contributions to this one. The question is, should I?

You have an advantage in the nasty smells department.

edit: That came out wrong. You know what I mean, Nurse Julie.

A likely story...

Julie, send those bad boys in.

I've got two of my own that are bordering on dangerous given lengthy periods of exposure.

I'm glad you edited that, I was a little hurt.

I could never be mean to you, Jewls.

I don't like the new look of the Listen Again menu.

Edit: Carrots totally have a smell.

I'm not sure they do. Gary Gill was meant to pick some up on his way in so we could sniff them but he didn't.

What a monkey.

The more I appear on Gobstopper, the more I come across as a gay man who spies on girls. My parents will be devastated.

"Well you wouldn't want Sostie staying round your place would you?"

"No I wouldn't"


Gloves are off pal.

I meant this weekend!!! There's not enough room!!!

You're welcome anytime honeypie. I won't spy on you or anything.

I might buy that excuse.

Apart from that, good show. Uncontrollable laughter is always funny (re: Sugababes)

You know you're my number one.

I will have to listen back to the Sugababes bit. I was crying my eyes out and when I looked up, Fischer had a single joyful tear on his cheek.

Sony award here we come.

Anyone else listened to Dan And Nick - The Wildebeest Years on BBC7? Very funny.

Have you seen a ghost? Or a UFO? Or the Loch Ness Monster? Or even a pair of swinging ghoulies?

Tonight is Gobstopper's Halloween Special, and we want YOUR tales of the weird, uncanny and downright hilarious. And if you're a non-believer, tell us that as well! Or if you really can't be bothered with any of this, just tell us some exciting things that have happened to you on Halloweens gone by, and answer the immortal question - pumpkin or turnip?

Feel free to reply to us here, or e-mail tales of spooky doings to gobstopper@bbc.co.uk

On the show tonight, ALL the music has a Halloween theme and has been chosen by Gobstopper listeners - so listen out for cracking tracks by The Damned, Alice Cooper, R Dean Taylor, Japan, The Ramones, and, erm... Cliff Richard! And the nice chaps from Northern Ghost Investigations are setting up camp in the studio to see if there are any wayward spirits at BBC Tees...

Plus we've a live acoustic session in the studio from the brilliant Idiot Savant, and frightening football freelancer Gordon Cox will be popping in to cast an eye over the latest sporting scares.

Gobstopper Halloween Special with Bob and Shack, 7-10pm, Wednesday 31st October, BBC Tees 95FM or online at www.bbc.co.uk/tees.

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Etc. (Evil laugh)

The ones I suggested? I do hope it's the second...thought that was an inspired suggestion, if I may say so myself

I'm secretly hoping it's "Devil Woman". It's very good, but not quite as good as "Wired for Sound" as Cliff songs go.

I'm going to make a right mess of those turnips.

It has to be "Carrie".

The decision is in the lap of the Bobs.

If you haven't listened to any of the Conchords radio series yet, then the one on Listen Again this week is an excellent place to start.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/comedy/

It's the episode guest starring my favourite stand-up Daniel Kitson, as Yorkshire's foremost novelty music act 'Dan and the Panda'.

"Where's the Panda?!"

i messaged bob yesterday with my, now weekly, joke at shack's expense...

I'm a figure of fun.

Does anyone else really fancy Matt Morgan's voice? Particularly when it's taking the piss out of Russell Brand?

It's vaguely disappointing that he's not really very handsome.

I'll still do him though, with my eyes closed.

He's like the anti-Jon Richardson in that respect.
Although Rico doing rp voice is stupidly sexy.

Jon Richardson is suprisingly handsome...

Confusing...

If there was an appropriate image-based vindication of this I'd post it but as yet I can't find one.

He's not very photogenic, but he's very pleasing in motion.

I'll take your word for it.
What does Sam off of the Russell Howard show look like anyway?

I don't know. I've only met the other two.

Russell looks like Luke, but he's much shyer. Except when we got onto the subject of possible litigation by the Geoff Show, suddenly he was suprisingly passionate. Oh, and when I brought him a sandwich - but all men get excited by sandwiches.

He seems to have disappeared in recent weeks, maybe his sexy voice was luring away too many ladies.
On the subject of radio itself, TWTTIN is recording every couple of weeks til December but that is in London and I am in sodding Manchester.

Ho ho ho

Russell (Brand not Howard) thinks 11 days of not having sex is an achievement.

School trips - where've you been? What were your favourites and what happened?

That's our topic for Gobstoppery discussion on the second of this week's shows. Fischer was taken to see the rustic delights of Middlesbrough's Newham Grange Leisure Farm in 1981, where he saw some piglets being born. To celebrate, he necked a bottle of Lucozade in one go, then threw himself onto the climbing farm and was promptly violently sick over a bed of begonias.

So where did you go, what did you do, and who disgraced themselves? Did you get taken away for more than one day, to a dreaded "Outdoor Activity Centre", haunted by a mysterious "grey lady" who came to steal your Refreshers? Or did you just get dragged yet again around York Bloody Railway Museum? And did you flick V-signs at truckers from the back of the coach window?

Answers please to... gobstopper@bbc.co.uk

Guests on the show include writer John Wilson, whose new book "The Ayresome Angel" is a children's fantasy story set around Ayresome Park in the 1970s, plus our Little Legend this week is 'Pebble Mill At One''s own Marian Foster! And we've Beatles-esque live music from Bo Cayce, and the Northern Echo's Scott Wilson rattling through the latest football gossip.

Gobstopper with him (Bob) and me (Shack), Wednesday 7th November, 7-10pm, BBC Tees... 95FM, DAB or listen online at www.bbc.co.uk/tees. Bleurgh!

Thanks for the mails peeps.

Next week you will be treated to a 40 second sound clip of Rachel and Julie mocking my northern accent.

It's bordering on racist.

Or that should be:

It's bworderwing on wacist.

Ah, so you did get it! We think we're hilarious.

We couldn't play it last night as we don't have the technology (Bob doesn't know what he's doing) but we did get it.

Rachel makes me sound like Geoffrey Boycott.

(Geoffrey Boycott is a cricket commentator with a very broad Yorkshire accent)

Rachel was spot on, so clearly, that's how you sound. You should have heard us doing it back and forth all afternoon. We're amazing.

I'm going to change my voice for next week, then we'll see how you pair of impressionists fare.

I've been working on a South African accent.

That's because you do sound like Geoffrey Boycott! Well a bit.

We were very proud of our efforts. I shall listen in from my sunny office in Florida.

Yes, Wednesday 14th November is Fischers special self-indulgent birthday programme, (or, as Miniature G called it, the "Bob Fischer Is God Special") and - to celebrate - we're shamelessly rehashing the topic of the week from last year's damp squib celebrations even though it's not really his birthday until Thursday, the old ham.

This weeks topic - in a nutshell - what's the best and worst ways in which you've spent your birthday over the years? The best and most disastrous parties, the greatest and cruddiest presents, the nastiest relatives you'd had to kiss?

Feel free to send birthday-related rubbish to...

gobstopper@bbc.co.uk

On the show two generations of Gobstopper dogsbodies - Shack and Miniature G - are joining forces in the studio, and we've live music from brilliant Boro singer-songwriter Andy Johnson. Plus our Little Legend is former 'Get Fresh' and 'Tomorrow's World' presenter Gareth Jones... or (as we're not allowed to call him any more) - Gaz Top!

Gobstopper, BBC Tees, 95FM, DAB, online at www.bbc.co.uk/tees from 7-10pm on Wednesday da 14th November.

Did you get a mystery guest for Bob's birthday?

A couple of recommendations from my radio week.

Both Adam and Joe and Dick and Dom's new shows are very good - and six hours of 'listen again' potential.

Radio 4 has some decent new pocasts, excellent for the walk to and from work. I particularly like, Friday Night Comedy, the Film Programme and the excellent highlights package from the week's Front Row. For more arts based podcasting Radio 2's The Weekender is worth a listen too.

But of course, in terms of reviews, no one will ever beat the good doctor.

The Mighty Mark Kermode

If you're not already downloading it every week, then there's something wrong with you.

No. He got grumpy and didn't want to do a "blind" interview. I was angling for Konnie Huq but I've not heard anything since last Thursday.

The new Adam and Joe show is very good - I've been listening for the last three weeks.

Coincidentally exactly how long it's been on air...

See these fingers? They are on the pulse.

Oh, and the Grundy/Freeman Shack impression will be broadcast tonight.

You pair of cheeky bastards.

I was a little disappointed with the quality of the recording. The ones we were doing in the office before that were BANG ON.

I was trying my best!

I'm actually going to be speeding around South Florida in fast cars this afternoon so I will miss it - it'll be a 'listen again' for me.

Adam and Joe! Adam and Joe! Adam and Joe! Adam and Joe! On 6Music on Saturday mornings and t' net. They're a pair o' goddamn comedy geniusisisisis!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/6music/shows/adamandjoe/index.shtml

The lovely Mr Andrew Collins is sitting in for Gideon Coe on the late night show on 6Music too. He talks about the Spaced event on the Monday or Tuesday show. I forget which. The guy's a dude
http://www.bbc.co.uk/6music/shows/gideon_coe/

The latest show is due to start in 13 minoots!

With the exception of the echo (so we're clearly not radio professionals) it was quite good

There was a noticeable echo.

Fischer is very jealous I have two sexy ladies in New York doing impressions of me.