I've got a metal baseball bat (technically it's a metal tire pressure checker, but tell it I told you ) and it's right by my bed, so i'd probably use that, though it is a little short. We've got a lot of golf clubs, and gardening tools. There's a shovel in the shed out back, but I'm not sure if i'd want to go ut there, our little plastic fence is pretty flimsy and short, we'd be swarmed with zombies.

As I look around my room I see a fan i could hit them with, but it's heavy, it wiggles, the front cage part falls off, and it's plastic, so if i plugged it in I wouldn't get much chopping, and a small about of good hitting power.

I have 2 boxes full of VHS movies. I could
A- Get on my roof and chuck them down (it's a one-story house)
or
B- Throw them at them like they threw the vinyls. Plus, I could use pretty much all of them. Nobody watches VHS's anymore.

I've got a music stand that I could keep them at bay with, or I could put my rolling chair against the door (the floor's carpet. it doesn't roll well. )

I have a bop-it, if anyone knows that game. Every time it said 'BOP IT!' I'd get to bash one in the head with it, but that whole 'twist it' 'pull it' might cause some troubles...

an icepick would do wouldn't it ice pick?
as an interesting sidenote , has anyone seen and appreciated 'the burbs' ?
(scuse me for not reading the whole thread)

I saw 'The Burbs'!

"We'll need a bucket of lambs blood and some garlic." ((or atleast that's what i think he says. ^^; ))

But what about it? Did they have an icepick in there and I forgot? Or do you mean the whole incineration thing?

ash trays and an x-box.

Only if you can lift me up and wield me

OOOH, a fan with the front removed

I have a number of martial arts weapons I used to regularly practice with. I'd go for my pair of sais, each about 21 inches, pointy and heavy. I would also consider my bo (which is a wooden staff). Ooh and my stainless steel telescopic baton. It's what cops use to beat people with so you know it works well.

How about a kettle? Heat up the water beforehand, bash em over the head, them pour the boiling liquid into their brains, simple, effective and 5 inches away from my computer

Scythe

I would use a basketball and keep throwing it in the zombies face unitl it was mush!.
My inspiration came from the simpsons a halloween ep when the dolphins come to springfield and they kill kent brockman by bouncing a beach ball in his face! NIce!

yeah but that would only work on one zombie. unless you've got a kettle that boils very quickly!!!

First hit 'em with two bricks tied together with a bit of string, almost like some crude numchucks, then finish 'em off with a cheese grater!

likin it butterfly - very creative! but i think you'll find if you re[lace bricks with cans of stella it would be much more effective. then finish 'em off wit a flymo .... then a can of lynx and a lighter flame thrower combo, not that i use lynx like....

or attach the cheesegraters to the fly mo

a lightsaber? then again in the real world in would be a plastic one from argos and it wouldnt do much damage.

it would if it had loadsa pins glued to it

Local Lynch mob! You can't make a local into a zombie! Thats why excist only to protect regular humans from zombies!

a lamp on a extension lead so you could beat and electricute the zombie at the same time nah too much effort?

Ya see, this is my secret trick. I'm actually working for the police and you're all going down for conspiracy to kill zombies.

{cue evil laugh}

no police have ever lasted in Royston Vasey!

{runs with print out of thread}

Don't worry Tubbs, he won't get far!

WE DIDN'T BURN HIM!!!!!!!!!!!


oh umm I think a pressure washer would be good.

lol how about a stilleto nice and spikey!

That's okay if you're a girl or a tranny, but what about making...an ELECTRO-WHIP? If you get an extension cord, cut off the bit you plug stuff into, peel back a couple of meters of insulation to expose the bare wires, plug it in & stand in the middle of a room swinging it round your head (holding onto the bit with the insulation still on it of course), hey presto, guaranteed 4m radius arc of electrified zombie protection. Might actually give this a go with my flatmates...

wouldnt that be too fiddley in a time of desperate need?
I was gonna say water balloons filled with acid but then the balloons would melt ha ha ha! wot a tit!

Ok...if you're an S&M freak...

im confused since when has water balloons used in s&m? and im not a s&m freak

sorry bout that I posted late, I meant the electro whip thing...

oh im sorry i didnt mean to get defensive! funny though!

Not to mention the idea of water balloons in S&M !

Sugar-coated almonds. Hard little fuckers! Oooh , my teeth! Also a sniper rifle...Me? own one? Nooooooooooooo.....

Almonds are good actually, when I was a kid we had an almond tree in our garden & we used to throw them at other kids. Never actually got a confirmed kill mind you. I'm not sure how useful S&M stuff would be, it woldn't be my first thought to chase the undead down the street with one of those ass-beating paddles whilst wearing a gimp mask. Might have made for a good alternate ending on the Shaun DVD though...

lol Well it all depends on how hardcore the s&m gear is, those 12 inch butt plugs could take a few down (make sure you wipe it down with a cloth first)

hmmmmmm...i would use my hi-hats, or crash cymbol stand to STAB STAB STAB!! oh, no sh*t! i have t destroy the brain...ummmm i would in that case use one of those foldy downy chairs!! i have one by my bead!! ha ha, now who's laughing?

A 210 bar Kercher.

The adverts for this thread are for the Zombies of "She's not there" fame . I think that is funny.

I have hurricane relief. Not so funny

I have a plastic machine gun in my cupboard. If the zombie was stupid enough it might think I shot it.
Likewise with the radio aerial, although I could use that to poke its eyes out and make my escape.

Hmmm... I could use that contact lens solution I have - it's hydrogen peroxide, and it stings like a twat if you haven't left it to neutralise for at least 7 hours.

I can't use my guitar unless it's absolutely necessary. It's a bugger to tune as it is.

Ooh, I have some steel tubing under the sofa bed.

And my arse. What comes out of that can be lethal

I'd avoid fire I think. There's nothing worse than an on-fire zombie staggering into your lovely new poster.


It's a lot less bovver with a hovver


Quality! Although bopping a zombie might not have quite the same effect as smashing its head in.



For the last time, it's Curtin!

Oh. Never mind.

Yo, in fact many of the yo to all... I would have a sword, broadsword, bigger and heavier the better, and maybe a lump hammer Thor style as a backup weapon.

Certainly no fire, as we all know, that can be very dangerous for all parties! No, I'd go for the hack em, smack em combo.

Or set a JCB bucket to head height and spin it round and round as they come towards you! Bloodbath!

i have taken it upon my self to warn people of my school of the zombie invasion!!! it is comming!!! IT IS COMMING!!! arm yourselves, stay alert, and don't die!!!! goodbye, and lets hope that God loves you!!!



KICK ZOMBIE ASS!