As the title suggests, what waste of celluloid would you like to see re-imagined, re-written, re-acted, whatever? In the wake of the Great 'Awful' Films thread, I figured that this might bring up some interesting suggestions...

So come on, let's 'ave 'em, people!

The Avengers. That series deserves better than what it got.

The Avengers. It looked fantastic, and had a nice "bonkers" element, but there was no chemistry whatsoever between the leads, and the script was pretty dire (or the delivery of it).

Ok, that was spooky.

It's a spooky kinda forum

As a fan of the TV series, i say 'leave well enough alone'. You know it will be Keira Knightley as Emma, right? No thanks.

There are all kinds of 80s B-movies which have excellent scripts and storylines but not enough exposure or just, cheap production values. I will have a think.

Sefi x

Running Man - its an enjoyable comp fest, but do it closer to the story in the novel. One of the greatest sci-fi actioners ever is there to be made.

AvP.

Come on, someone was bound to say it.

I liked it

Is....is this Bizarro thread now?

Hey Rua, remember that time Sostie said "I liked AvP" and you asked "Is this the Bizarro thread"?

That was freakin' sweet.

C'mon...any film with "vs" in the middle of the title is not going to be anymore than dumb fun. If it didn't have such outstanding films in the individual franchises expectations wouldn't have been so high.
Take its on its own merits and enjoy it.

Remake the Dukes Of Hazzard, but this time with Matt Damon & Ben Affleck as Bo & Luke.

The HoYay would blow every gaydar in the world.

Anne Hathaway as Daisy, with her tits out to prove she's a grown up actress would also be good.

I tried to. I tried see it as dumb fun. But there just wasn't enough fighting between the Aliens and Preds. There was waaaay too much human interference.

Two hours of Aliens and Preds kicking seven bells of shite out of each other, that's what we want.

I would like to see a remake of Eyes of Laura Mars - the original had a good premise (and a John Carpenter script), but it's not very scary, the plot's far too jumbled and makes little sense, and it has dated quite horribly (as you'd expect from a 70s film set in the world of fashion photography).

I saw this film when i was really young and was very much frightened. But seeing it later, it is a brilliant film and an excellent candidate for remake (the 70s-ness being illuminating). The movie also inspired a whole load of cheap knock-offs about models being murdered too. Sometimes you see them on channel 5.

Julianne Moore? Maggie Gyllenhaal? Plenty of choice in leading lady. And with Mark Ruffalo in the Tommy Lee Jones role, would be great.

Sefi x

I agree; I'd have loved to have seen a faithful adaptation of the original Prosperity Wells story from the comics.

In no way is the original crap, but I am warming to the idea of a remake of Escape From New York. If, and only if, The Stath gets to play Snake.

I've been mulling that one around in my head for years. I still can't make my mind up if it would be a good idea.

I wouldn't go for Stath though. But then again I don't know who I'd go for as Snake.

Speaking of things people were bound to say:

The Star Wars Prequels?

I thought that but then realised I wouldn't want them remade.

It's been ruined. Like badly burnt charcoal toast.

I'll only eat it if I'm really, really hungry.

Pretty Woman - Why does a billionaire fall in love with a street-walking prostitute?

The Beast of War - The soviet invasion of Afghanistan (my favorite war), but with more money and no Jason Patrick.

Escape to Victory - They couldn't afford it.

Perfect just as it is. They'll never top the brilliant Bernstein score.

Johnny Mnemonic. Sure, it's not William Gibsons best story, but there's a far better film there than we've been given. Get a competent screenwriter to help Gibson out, find a better director, and get a real casting director this time.

Who's going to take your film seriously when your protagonist is Keanu in full-on bewildered-bit-of-particle-board mode, Ice-T is the buddy, and Dolph Lundgren as the villain? The second Dolph stepped out in front of that truck -- "Sinner!" -- I nearly fell off the couch laughing.

And if that wasn't enough, they had to go and drag Takeshi Kitano into it. He deserves better.

On the plus side, it looks like Peter Weir is getting ready to film Pattern Recognition/

You've just reminded me how much I hate that film. To be honest, I don't really think there was enough in the original story to flesh it out into a film - if they were going to do a Sprawl story why not just fucking adapt Neuromancer?

Because there's too much that could go wrong with that one. Better to ruin one of Gibsons short stories, rather than his magnum opus.

I should really have said "why not just fucking adapt Neuromancer properly?"

But, yeah, I expect it'd be disappointing.

If AVP was just Aliens again with a couple of Predators thrown in, it would have been great. Wise-cracking marines in a dark and smoky corridor-filled complex, being hunted down by both species, who are also after each other.

Yeah! And lose the science-chick.

I liked the back story of Predator worship. Because its true.

Another obvious one, and one that has been mentioned recently, but how about:

War of the Worlds.

A proper period adaptation, set around London, as it should be.

With no kids.

And no Cruise.

And no Americans of any sort.

You've got me.

Whatever it is I'm behind you all the way.

20 years ago when he had the chance, Lucas should have done Star Wars VII-IX like he said he was going to.

Now, I'm one of the few people who don't mind the prequels, but I say that more adventures with Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie and the droids would have been much better.

Actually I have(had!) and issue of Look-In Magazine at home which was printed just after the release of Star Wars. There is a Lucas interview in which it seems he nearly went straight into the prequels! When asked if he was going to do a follow-up in view of the success of Star Wars, he said he hadn't really thought about it but was toying with the idea of doing a film about some characters early years like The Life Of Obi Wan or The Life Of Han Solo!

By the same token, they really ought to have gotten around to Indy 4 sooner than this.

I lost hope in that when Lucas turned down Frank Darabont's script (a man who can write) in favour of his own!! You only have to see the extras on the Indy DVDs to see Spielberg laughing at the plans Lucas had for the franchise if he was let loose on them.

Ahmed Best is going to play a digitally-recreated version of Short Round, isn't he?

Yousa cheatin'! Yousa cheatin', Doctor Jones!"

Indy would just shoot him a la Raiders.

'No time for Viagra, Dr Jones.'

I wanted to see alien planets, herds of xenomorphs, Yautja hunting parties, and humans trapped in the middle. Just imagine it!

But in Raiders, didn't the swordsman shoot first? I seem to recall Indy acted purely in self-defence, like Han in Star Wars...

They should re-do Elektra with Monica Belluci (she's far more Greeky than Garner)

And do Buffy again.

I've had a t-shirt made of this.

If by ''shoot'' you mean ''twirled his sword around a bit'' then yes.

Brother From Another Planet with the Wayans Bros. No, just too wrong.

I know the scene well.

I also know that Han shot first.

Get out!


I'll have to go with Andy and Glenn on the Avengers bandwagon. Every possible wrong decision wrapped up into 90 neat little minutes. Except for Eddie Izzard and Shaun Ryder hanging out of Minis firing Uzis, that part can stay.

Troy could have been so much better. If you're making a film about an ancient Greek myth, then you've got to include Gods! There's no other historical record available other than the various retellings of the myth so you might as well go the whole hog and include the mystical elements.

That's one of the main reasons why I'm looking forward to seeing 300.