OK, think of this thread as somewhere to discuss celebrity banality. A sort of virtual Heat magazine letters page, or Perez Hilton's comments thread (without the 'FIRST bitches!!!' posts). Mainly born out of me being unable to find anywhere appropriate to post something as shameful as this...

Preston is back with ex-girlfriend

Why do I take such delight in this story? I should think Camille is a fool for taking him back; but I can't help imagine she's making him pay for his mistakes in gleeful 'I told you so' fashion.

I imagine her stroking his hair and saying "there there dear, you should never have gone for a girl without a masters in Politics". "What were you thinking you woolly headed ninny?" "I bet she'd never even seen a copy of the Guardian." "They'll probably never let you back on 'Never Mind the Buzzcocks' now." "If I were you I'd give up that silly excuse for a band altogether".

I also love this quote from Chantelle:



I think I might turn this whole thing into a play, it practically writes itself.

Wouldn't this thread fit better in the 'Girls Talk' section of the forum...?

Or maybe we could create a new 'girls and bitchy gays' section...

That comment from Chantelle makes me feel sorry for her.

Pushed to the margins in Preston's middle class world, what chance did she have?

Is that picture a fair representation of Camille? If so I'd have stuck with Chantelle. Or just gone for someone good looking and intelligent.

Nice idea, logger, but most of us are taken

The beautiful Josh Duhamel has impregnated Fergie. Yuck.

Jeez. Imagine putting it in there.

theres a man with taste! eurgh... d'you think she sang 'my humps' while they were getting it on?

That just made me throw up in my mouth.

I know its a bit wrong but I can't watch anything with The Black Eyed Peas without thinking the rest of the band are, or have, done Fergie at some point. Either on their own or as a group.

I have not thought that about any other band with a lone female member.

EDIT: Has this been mentioned before?

Weren't The Audience a band with only one female member?

I can imagine Ellis-Bextor being filth.

Maybe that's just me though.

I just did a quck poll in the office (well 6 people) and asked, out of Blondie, No Doubt, Black Eyed Peas and Siouxsie & The Banshees, if you had to choose one where you think the rest of the band are "doing" the singer, which would it be.

They all said Black Eyed Peas.

The irony is I know the other 3 have indulged in inter-band shagging.

4'8", 40 year old Gary Coleman marries 5'7", 22 year old Shannon Price.

What you talkin bout Willis?

They look so happy.



Well no, who would?

Apparently she's a 'great e-Bayer' and he wants her to become well-known and respected for that.

When did eBay become a verb? Or 'e-Bayer' a profession?

But he is a celebrity with killer cheekbones and an ordinary band, if he can't do it then what hope do us poor schlubs have.


Little bit turned on now.

i like this bit: 'Nobody was around but the minister, preacher, the videographers, the photographer, the helicopter pilot...'

Ian Wright's ex-wife says Don't blame married footballers for their indiscretions, blame the girls they sleep with. Yeah, brilliant. It's clearly not the MARRIED man's fault it's the SINGLE woman's. So what if they're deliberately going after them, it's their responsibilty to keep it in their trousers, no one elses.

And since I find this article suitably anti-feminist I feel at liberty to comment on the photograph that accompanies it.

I think we can all see the reason he cheated. You can see it in his eyes even in that shot, "I can do better".

To be fair, most footballers are thick as pig shit. As well as being vain, self-centred, overpaid and easily-led.

Not an excuse, I know. But as much as people like Posh, Tweedy and Colleen were 'distraught' and so on when their husbands cheated on them (in Tweedy's case I'm still amazed Cole cheated on her with a woman), they end up staying with their millionaire husbands.

Can't think why.

OMGZZZ the little boy/girl from harry Potter is dating head vampire of shite music, Johnny Borrell...







It is completely not true. But hey...

There is a major Harry Potter spoiler in that post (assuming it is true, I have not gotten to that book yet, haha).

I removed it as, to be honest, I didn't even read the entire thing and didn't notice it, sorry.

Although hey, if you ain't read the latest book yet, you can't care that much... even I've read it and I hated all the other two I read.

The thing I don't get about Johnny Borrell is that he's got a face like a smacked arse and he's clearly a wanker.

But at least he's in a shit band.

NOTE TO SELF - start shit band.

Lewis brought it up many moons ago I believe.

Well, I'm glad to see Emma Watson living up to her potential.

Photographic news...

Lindsay Lohan is very freckly, but has beautiful tits.



See the rest of the NSFW pictures here. Lindsay, for some reason, is recreating Marilyn Monroe's last photoshoot with photographer Bert Stern. Other than her fantastic boobs, she looks pretty awful.

Something for the girls. Milo in GQ. He is one sharp mother fucker.





More Emma Watson news. apparently she's doing Harry Potter. Yeah right, because no one would ever spend Valentine's Day with a friend of the opposite sex unless there was something going on.

Actually, I once spent Valentine's Day alone with a male friend, we ended up going out with each other. Actually, that kind of happened twice. Dirty Hermione, what would Ron say?!

Scarlett Johansson has a horrible tattoo.

Will.i.am is Kestrel in new Wolverine Flick. Ryan Reynolds is also cast, but no word on as who.

What a lovely combo.




Fingers crossed, he takes his top off.

Lohan really looks terrible, doesn't she.

Please tell me that's not real.

It's real, or at least it's been present in some of the most recent candids of her (especially noticeable recently promoting The Other Boleyn Girl). I assume it's photoshopped out of most photo-shoots and edited out of films (unless it's very recent in which case it wouldn't have needed to be so far).

The current rumour is that he'll be playing Deadpool. Probably not in his breaking the fourth wall, self-aware incarnation, though.*

In other Wolverine news, they've announced that the part of Gambit has been cast.

Can't say that I'm overly familiar with the guy's work but woo Gambit!


Edit: *It's been confirmed now.

Martin! Martin! Where's me belly?.

This is probably old news. Actually it is. It's 6 months old. But I saw a pic of the "new" her for the first time today in a paper, and was pretty surprised.

Well, not really. Certainly not in that particular photo and she very publicly had a boob job a couple of years ago so it's not even like she exercised herself to that shape.
I am jealous, clearly, but not of her haircut.

EDIT:
More Disney Sex Scandals
I'm taking the stance of a talking head I saw on a BBC3 programme - this all seems like a strataegic career move rather than anything else.

Every photo I've seen of her posing with her new body looks like her head has been photoshopped on someone else.

want!

Girls at The Brits

The theme for the female attendees at this year's Brits appears to be either classy black or just flat out garish.

PETA's worst dressed celebrities of 2008

I knew there was a reason I hated Kylie Minogue.

Nah, I'd hate her even if she wasn't hauling around that ugly thing.

Oooh! He is a superb actor in Friday Night Lights. An excellent choice. Also teh sex.

Or her face.

Don't believe everything you read in the Metro, it's a fake. Some joke news site made it up.

This should read: Liz, 26 (no really) had one half of her face transformed by latex and the other by years of heavy make-up and sunbeds.



Lucky for Liz no one wants to kiss a self-righteous bore.

I can't believe someone who's fucked their skin up so badly, no doubt more through tanning than smoking, would highlight it to such a degree. I actually prefer the latex bit of her face, at least she doesn't have her eye painted shut on that side.

Full stupid article and more pictures of her wrinkly face (and the bit they covered with latex)

26? Facking 'ell. And I was worried I might be getting my first wrinkle - I can double my fag intake I'm so far behind Liz.



It is new, but no confirmation of whether it's for real or not.

It's probably for a part, but it's so bad I kind of hope it is real. Scarjo's new album is batshit apparently, so maybe she's just generally gone mad (though that review is from the Telegraph, so it probably should be taken with a pinch of salt). Personally, I think she's been losing it since the whole giving body parts to her boyfriend as a gift incident.

Billie Baby Bump?



I think it's a lager baby, I have one too.

I'm jealous of her being on holiday with Dishy Sergeant Hathaway.

He looks more pregnant than she does and he's thin as.

How did I not see these? Pendulous.

Why is there a story about Lily Allen in the press, every, single, day? In London she seems to be perpetually on the cover of those annoying free papers they thrust on you outside the tube.

Anyway, she did something last night, namely getting drunk and having to be carried out of the Glamour Awards. Which is a variation on what she does every night, it seems.

I'm not sure whether we're supposed to judge or admire her, but this story does make me jealous of her. Why can't I dye my hair pink, down free champagne, use Mark Ronson as a leaning post and then get carried home (on a school night).



Why do I have to be a grown up, and have a real job? Why aren't I on the cover of 'The London Paper' every other day? Why aren't I Lily Allen?

It's just not fair.

Well - you will be in the hub-bub of London meeeeeja soon, sweet Zoe-bear. It may all come true after all. And you can actually enjoy it too. Unlike Lily who clearly has never been part of the real world hence she thinks she is hard-done-by etc etc.

At least Evelyn Waugh's vile social dimwits knew they were in a position of privilege.

I still kind of like her though.

Her blog today reads thusly:



And her profile picture is her being carried to the car last night.

She seems nice enough. There are much worse culprits I'm sure. At least she has a sense of humour.

X-Files Star Expecting Third Baby

It was more the picture they chose to run next to the story that made me chuckle.