Kill List

And just as 2011 draws to a close it happens, we get the worst film of the year, and this has been a very bad year. It's just so bad. In a perverse way I almost enjoyed it for its awfulness. I laughed quite a bit. I'm still not sure if it's a satire on the state of the British film industry, which is clearly on its arse, and this is the scariest thing about the film and I'm sure this is what Mark Kermode's colleague meant when he said he got so frightened that he thought he was going to have to leave the screening room, I know how he must have felt.

I kind of want to recommend it, it's not The Happening but it is a big pile of old shit and there is something fascinating about that. I even cheered at the end, you know what's coming but you can't believe they're going to do it, and then they do, and it's incredible.

9.5 dismissive wanks out of 10

I'm so intrigued.

I thought Kill List was pretty great, actually (and this has been a really solid year for film in general). A funny, weird and off-kilter horror that had me on edge until the very, very silly ending.

War Horse (2011)

More about war than it is about the horse, the story uses the horse and its changing ownership to examine different ways in which World War I impacted people, in the process offering commentary on war as a universal theme. (It's hard not to watch the sequence about French farmers trying to get by as the war surrounds them and not draw parallels to the lives of people in Afghanistan and Iraq.) It's very episodic and some of the vignettes are better than others (the first forty minutes, which focus on the life of the horse before he gets bought by the army, drag interminably, whilst the battle scenes and general recreation of life in the trenches are very well done) but there is far more good than bad, owing largely to the great cast and Spielberg's almost unmatched skill as a craftsman.

It is very, very earnest, and the extent to which you can deal with that will probably determine whether you enjoy it or think it's a load of old schmaltzy tripe.

Captain America: The First Avenger - I really, really enjoyed it. I wish I'd seen it at the cinema. My only criticism with the movie would be that I wish it was five minutes longer, to have a bit more of him dealing with the fact that his would-be girlfriend has probably been dead for several years now as an old woman, as has everyone else he's ever known, and all the culture shock. "I had a date..." was said in a heartfelt manner, but it felt too much like a joke line for what really would have been an incredibly sad moment.

How does it compare to that other Captain America movie? Well, it's better. Obviously =P

Tropic Thunder

R.D.Jr, Cruise and an exploding Coogan!

Brilliant.

^ I think it's the only film I like Tom Cruise in.

Legally Blonde

One of the few girly films I enjoy watching.

Free Willy

An old favourite. I could swear my cat was watching it because she was facing the telly and turned her head away the second it finished.

Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work

Documentary about a year in the life of Joan Rivers. Part celebration and retrospective look at her trailblazing career in American comedy, part bleak and unflinching look at what it takes to keep going when the limelight has moved on to someone else and you have to fly halfway across the country to do a gig in the middle of nowhere. It's a bit formless, often jumping from one event to the next with little sense of progression, but that doesn't matter because Joan is such a compelling central figure, and seeing her at her best and worst makes for an entertaining, occasionally uncomfortable experience. In fact, the effort to wrap everything up at the end is the only real problem with the film, since it seems a bit too neat considering all the messiness beforehand.

Best Worst Movie

I kind of wish that I had watched Troll 2 before watching this documentary about it. The film did a fine job of getting across the feverish devotion of the fans of arguably the worst film ever made, and it really excels at depicting the eccentricities of the cast and crew responsible for it, but I felt like I was missing out on something by not really knowing the film being discussed. Still, I love documentaries about weird obsessives, so obviously I was going to like it.

Golden Ninja Warrior is the best worst movie, I would argue. It's baffling and incredible in equal measure.

I can't seem to find it online, but it's worth the £1 or so it costs just for the knife-throwing scene. This woman throws a knife, and it chases another woman around a mall (by gluing a rubber knife to the lens of a handycam and running around). She's eventually rescued by a guy who throws a book at the knife, making it explode.

EDIT: FOUND IT! Skip to 23:00. The sound is out of sync, sadly.

Troll 2 is bad but there are worse films.

I miss being at uni, watching terrible movies with my friends and laughing at them.

Bourne Identity was just on telly again (I'm certain ITV2 has that flick on at least once every 2 weeks) and naturally I watched it, for the umpteenth time.

Quite simply, marvellous.

Babe

Another old favourite. I want one of those sheepdog puppies from the beginning. Or a singing mouse.

Dracula (1931)

A little disappointed at them taking out the bits in Whitby as I adore Whitby (though I can see why it was done and it works well without them), but I really enjoyed the film. Lugosi is a fantastic Dracula.

Green Zone
Rather disappointing, especially after The Bourne Ultimatum, which handled similar plot elements with a lot more wit and verve. It takes the film perhaps 50 minutes to actually get going but it still isn't quite engaging enough, with occasionally awful dialogue seeming far more pronounced and awkward than it ever was in Bourne, even though Bourne had its fair share too. More than anything though, the action sequences lack the originality, intelligence and visceral thrill of those in Ultimatum and Supremacy. It's fine, but it's not great. Damon does a bit of an accent though, so he's good.

Sherlock Holmes 2: A Game of Shadows
Good fun, with a much better villain than the first film - played wonderful by Jared Harris- and the same Downey/Law charm, which compensates for the lack of a strong central mystery and plot. It's a Victorian road movie predicated upon oneupmanship, and an enjoyable one at that, worth watching for the Moriarty/Holmes dynamic. Cumberbatch and Freeman remain the superior current incarnations of the characters, but Downey and Law are still very good action-film counterparts.

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol
A lot of fun. Brad Bird shoots action and depicts technology in such a bloody fun way, with enough humour and likability to more than make up for the slightness of plot. It also has Maverick fighting Mikael Blomkvist in a car park.

EDIT: My Sherlock Holmes and Mission Impossible reviews are basically the same.

Ha. I want to see these two so will keep it in mind.

Finding Nemo

Mid-level Pixar.


Paul

Mid-level Pegg.

Today's films were The Breakfast Club and Mrs. Doubtfire. I like them both muchly.

Children of Men

Thought I'd start 2012 by getting ready for the end of the world.

My first films of 2012 were E.T. and Ghostbusters. Not a bad way to start the year.

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

Excellent.

Very much so. Bird dun good. I wasn't expecting much, but I really enjoyed it.

Have watched a few films recently and will report on them later. But I will take this oppurtunity to mention I finally watched Armageddon from start to finish. What a pile of shite.

Some of the acktings was a bit ropey too. I am looking at you, Liv Tyler.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

I decided to watch this as it's garnered some kind of cultural relevance now, and it's kind of adorable watching a future Mrs Logger in one of their school plays*. Anyway, it's a decent enough kid's film, all pretty much straight forward and it kind of makes me wish I was a kid or had little kids.

I still think it would have made more sense for Bumblefuck to hide Harry away in some kind of wizardy, shaolin academy, training him up from day one not just to be a badass but also to be a well rounded individual, instead he spends 11 years with an abusive family then has fame and adventure thrust upon him, leaving him with a future of being Lindsey Lohan.

*It's just a bunch of little kids in costumes - Royal Tenenbaum

Is the fact that I've not seen Mission Impossible 2 or 3 going to mean that I wouldn't understand Ghost Protocol?

I have the opportunity to see it for free on Wednesday or Thursday this week, and obviously I'm going to take that but do I need to rush out and watch the others first?

It won't matter that you haven't seen 2 - which is good news because it is a piece of shit - and not seeing 3 won't cause you any major issues since the story is pretty self-contained. However, there are a few minor details here and there, mainly to do with Ethan Hunt's backstory, which are drawn solely from Mission: Impossible 3, so if you have to watch any of them beforehand then 3 is the only one you have to watch. Again, though, it's not essential, but there are moments in the film that will make more sense and have a greater impact if you watch 3.

I watched a bunch of films yesterday in a slightly sluggish haze following New Year's cavorting, starting with a double-bill of The Wizard of Oz and Return to Oz. I prefer the former, but the strange eerieness of the latter is charming, and I like to think that any kids who were watching them both for the first time would have been very confused and terrified by the drastic shift in tone between them.

I then watched about a third of WALL-E because it was on directly before Sherlock. I missed the opening thirty minutes, but did manage to watch up until the moment when EVE watches her surveillance footage and sees all the stuff that WALL-E has been doing for her, which is one of my favourite parts of the film.

Then, after Sherlock, I watched Ratatouille for the first time in a few years. It still holds up tremendously well, and it actually seemed to move a lot more quickly than I remembered it. It's very well paced.

Thanks. I'll see about watching Mission Impossible III, then. Even if it's not essential viewing before Ghost Protocol, if it's a good movie then it's worth watching.

It's definitely worth watching; I think it's one of the best action movies of the '00s. Though it's not quite as good as Ghost Protocol.

Iron Man and Hook. Just assume I either love or like every film I post about this next week unless I state otherwise.

I had the TV on whilst I was doing some odd-jobs around the flat today and caught You've Got Mail, which has to be one of the most bizarre films I think I've ever seen.

I was initially intrigued by the very dated technology; laughing at the computers dialling up to AOL and the main characters getting together in a chat room etc (which is something "normal" people obviously didn't do in nineties . . .).

But then the story got my interest not because it was good, but because it was absolutely horrific! It all seems to be a fairly straight forward A to B plot right up to the point when Tom Hanks' character finds out who it is that he has been talking to anonymously online, at which point he becomes this weirdo internet stalker. Why Meg Ryan’s character isn’t calling the cops at the end, I have no idea.

That kind of makes more sense in The Shop Around The Corner, which is what You've Got Mail is based on, if only because letters are inherently less creepy than e-mail. Or maybe it's harder to view pre-War James Stewart as creepy than it is Tom Hanks.

I didn't realise it was a remake, I might try and find a copy of the original as I quite like James Stewart films.

It's very good. Really sweet, funny and charming.

I enjoyed this also. Couldn't stomach watching the whole thing though.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Didn't like this one, it didn't really offer anything new and just seemed to go over the same ground as the previous one and never felt like it was going to end.


Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

This was an improvement with Cuaron bringing more energy and invention giving it a Roald Dahl, Gilliam-esque feel, I particularly liked the scenes in London because it felt like I was watching a whimsical version of Children of Men. The film does suffer from me not being the target audience but that's true of them all.

I like The Chamber of Secrets, it feels a bit more polished than The Philosopher's Stone and I think it is generally a better story anyway.

It's been my plan for the last couple of weeks to watch all the unwatched DVDs in my collection (most of which were films I've seen countless times before but there are a fair number of new ones in there too) as they were starting to stack up. I only have ten left now, including the ones I got for Christmas.

I thought I hadn't watched my Inception DVD yet so I chose that today, but I searched the thread and found out that I watched it in January last year. No harm done, as it's a great film.

I also found this:



And I agree muchly.

Got through a few films on the plane to London and back this holiday season:

Captain America: First Avenger

Really fantastic. Great performances by the leads and slick action sequences. Really enjoyable.

X-Men: First Class

Also has great performances and was a lot of fun, but did anyone else notice Michael Fassbender's accent sliding around? He went all Irish at the end. He was a brilliantly dark, brooding presence and McAvoy was also great - loved the blending of the more calm, serene Xavier we are used to seeing with a more naive innocent, exuberant man.

However the greatest moment of the entire film was Hugh Jackman's cameo. I burst out laughing on the plane.

The Debt
It was wonderfully tense and dark, and the acting was lovely, but it didn't really grab me.

The Help
Such a fabulous film. A real ensemble movie but with sterling performances from everyone - Bryce Dallas Howard was amazing in particular. Playing that kind of character in a way that is believable and not cartoonish is bloody hard, and she did a superb job. It was an all-round star cast though. Loved it.

There was another one too but I've forgotten what it was!

It really was.

Less than 5 seconds long, yet utterly hysterical.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

The Fincher version. I hate to say but I enjoyed it much more than the Swedish version. The plot is streamlined and makes much more sense. Lots of detail is removed and although this may anger some purists, it works better as a film. The cast is pretty perfect too. Craig does his Daniel Craig act which is good. Stellan is Martin Vanger, he just is. All the cast are appropriate and nobody stood out as wrong IMO. Robin Wright looked like every other woman in Stockholm down to her glasses and haircut. And Rooney Mara is outstanding and would you believe - different to Noomi Rapace without being less good. Her Lisbeth is more youthful and childlike as per the book but with a very believable super intelligence. the end makes far more sense as a result. Rapace had a fierce anger underneath her portrayal. Mara is more like a cold fire. Both work actually and I never thought they would.

But it is Fincher's direction that makes this a simply more accomplished film. He adds a layer of detail and class through music and framing that only first class directors bring. Irritating plot devices like Martin Vanger's hideous jumper and the bloody receipt archives that goes back to the year dot are gone. Very Swedish things but not plausible in a sophisticated murder mystery. No disservice to the original but Fincher is just ... Fincher. You will never look at Enya's Orinoco Flow in the same way again. This is why he is better than most.

Harry Potter and the Next Three Films

Not enough Helena Bonham Carter.

There rarely is.

I concur.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl

Phenomenally good.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Not so good.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Great fun. The best of the trilogy.



























Nah, it's fucking awful.

I would rate the movies like so:

#1 Transformers: The Movie (1986) - Like it's any fucking contest, really. Excellent animation, awesome action scenes, lovable characters, and it's all about the robots. Not just the best Transformers movie, it's the best toy-themed movie ever, one of the better 80s animated movies, and I'd even go far enough to say one of the best robot anime movie ever made.

#2 Transformers (2007) - Leagues behind The Movie, but I actually really like this one. If you take it for what it is (Bad Boys II meets Small Soldiers), it's a fun action movie with a couple of childish laughs and some good set-pieces. It's not going to win any awards, but it's not trying to. Mindless fun, and a good evening's entertainment.

#3 Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) - Bigger is not always better (as last place will further tell you), but this one goes way too big, and is also incredibly silly whilst simultaneously trying to be the most serious of the films. It's a bad movie, but it's got a few good bits in. It's just boring; there's so much going on, but it's not engaging. The smaller action scenes of the first are far more entertaining than the colossal ones in this.

#4 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) - Fucking atrocious. If I had to think of any redeeming qualities at all, then a couple of the new robots are cool (though that's outweighed by those fucking twins who make Jar-Jar Binks look like a good idea), and a few of the action scenes are cool. The plot is so preposterous and nonsensical it makes Dark of the Moon look like good writing, the 'comedy' is the most utterly cringe-worthy thing I have ever seen in my life, and it's just baaaaad.


I genuinely think the first one is good. The third one only seems good in comparison to the second, which is the worst Hollywood blockbuster I've ever seen.

Harry Potter and the Week of Procrastination

I've finished.

Yeah, I'd agree with that order, though I haven't seen the cartoon for about twenty years at this point, so I don't know how it stacks up against the first Bay film. I can only assume that it is better.

Dark of the Moon is a step up from Revenge of the Fallen but so is breaking your arm.

Oooh rating the Transformers films. can I have a go

Transformers: The Movie - Crap
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - Shit
Transformers - Shittier
Transformers: Dark of the Moon - the shittiest

As you can see I'm after Winkleman's job

Sherlock Holmes & The Something Or Other
Not as satisfying as the first but entertaining enough. I think Jared Harris (the best Moriarty EVER) may well get an Oscar nom.

KILL LIST
Bleakly entertaining but I'm sure would have been far more surprising/fun had everytime I read about it reference had not been made to the hammer scene and/or The Wicker Man

Moneyball
Further evidence that boring team sports make for great sports movies (with the exception of Escape To Victory and Shoalin Soccer)

The Veteran
I was hoping for a film about Toby Kebbell going apeshit with automatic rifles on a housing estate blowing away scummy wammabe gangstas. There's some of that at the end but there was also a load of conspiracy theory stuff as well. It was OK but had one of the bleakest unsatisfying endings I've seen in a long time.

Careful now...


Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol - Cracking good fun. One of the best action movies I've seen in ages, possibly ever.

You didn't make a comment about Shia LaBeouf's bum . . .