The results are in, here we go ...

[Jon 79]
Hi Michael.
Do you still go clubbing much, & if so, do you often get spotted as Tyres?


Jon I gotta
be honest with you, when I went clubbing back in the day, my mate Trix and I had a routine called ‘cooking from the back’, which consisted of taking either side of a dancefloor and working our way towards the middle while juicing up everyone we danced next to thus lifting the room to a more euphoric state. Nowadays however my idea of cooking from the back would be setting up a fondue in a rare groove cloakroom. I sometimes get spotted normally with ‘aren’t you that geezer ‘wheels’ off that weird t.v show’ I punch them.

[frostitute]
Mike,
You must hear this a lot, but just what was the inspiration for your character? Was it just plain you? Was it based off somebody (a friend, perhaps)? Or was it something you pulled out of thin air, like an improv?


You have to be a yank calling me ‘Mike’ I fucking hate that name, anyway to answer your question, it was pure improve, as I am a black, Welsh midget in real life.

[Bunny Biscuits]
G'day Michael,
On The Spaced 'Skip To The End' Documentary you mentioned a show you did in New Zealand, have you ever been to/plan to go to the Melbourne Comedy Festival in Australia? Are you still doing standup?


Yes I still do stand-up, still love it and I have performed in Melbourne twice in the late 90s; 96 + 97 I tink, Which I loved, one of my best mates lives in Melbourne, the legend that is Greg Fleet. The big toothed
larrikin of love.

[spookytwigg]
In spaced you used the phrase "have a banana" If you could be ANY fruit... Which one would it be? and why?


I Think it would have to be the raspberry, for two reasons, It just explodes over yer taste buds. It fits onto an erect nipple like a bobble hat

[constantly bored]
Alright Mike,
What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?


There ya go again with the ‘Mikes’. Three days, at the end of day one I had formed my own militia. By the end of day two we where on furlough and on day three I was found naked and crying in my late aunts hot press.

[wherearethespoons]
Hello,
Would you welcome more Spaced or do you think it should be left how it is?


MORESPACEDMORESPACEDMORESPACED. Hope that answers yer probe.

[Zoe]
Did Simon tell you how Tyres ended up as a zombie? If not, how do you think he managed to get bitten? You'd have thought with his speed on a bicycle he'd have been well out of it!


He was rummaging in his lunch box when a meter-maid zombie came up on his blind side

[superfurryandy]
Hello, Mr Smiley.
I saw you in Edinburgh a few years ago (99/00?) at the Assembly Rooms doing a monlogue (can't remember the name, dammit!) - thought it was very good - do you have plans to write any more theatrical pieces?
Oh, and you nearly lap danced at me when you were in that play with James Ellis (the bus conducter play - what is it with me and my memory today?), but you chose my mate Jon. Thank you for not embarrassing me.


The play was called ‘The Parting Glass’ I have written two more plays and am pissing about with a few more ideas, so who knows Mr. Furry.

[le plat]
Hello hello, dreadfully predictable I'm afraid.
What are you up to at the moment? What about 'Land of the Blind'? How's that going?


I’ve just finished ‘Land of the Blind’ and start ‘Bleak House’ next month. In between I continue to embarrass myself at auditions and others at comedy clubs.

[svein]
Have you ever been as wired as Tyres?


You should see me now, I have teeth marks on my forehead and lipstick on my nipples, sleep well.

[waitingforsimon]
Hello I hope you are well? You were in my favourite episode of Spaced, are you surprised at how loved Tyres still is by the fans? Beverleyxxx


Very, don’t know why it is, maybe, this could be a new topic on the Spacedout website, because I, as a nosy twat, would love to know.

[rangerofdanger]
Hello
We like u and u make us laugh!!!!!!!!!!!
The first question is as follows
1. U know the clubbing episode (debut) how many takes did it take you to get your lines?
2. Who would you rather have a homosexual relationship with Mark Heap or Nick frost?
Have a Banana


1. 12ty.
2. As I’ve already de-frosted Nick, I would have to say Mark, as I could manipulate him into more ambitious positions. Love origami, I call it. As my late geography teacher Father Hackenabusch used to say ; ‘It only hurts if you don’t relax’ .

[TheGimp]
Hullo there, Mr. Smiley sor...
What I'd like to know is, have you packed yer party bag?


More respect I’m loving it! Always, as my rave scout master used to whitter ‘ He who dared, prepared’. What about you Mr. G do you spit in yer mask before going under, I know I do.

[whitey]
Who is your favourite superhero?


Ronnie Original

[Kick in the Head]
Tyres is a great name for a cycle courier, but which other part of a bicycle do you think would make the best alternative nickname? 'Spokes', maybe?


When I was a courier we used to work with this Canadian guy called Andy who was a real bike nerd, he ended up with the name; ‘Max Headset’. He loved it.

[Downsy]
If there was a third series of Spaced, is there any situations you'd like to see Tyres in ?


As a lycra porn mogul with a bi-weekly magazine called ‘Love Pump’. Too much?

[Jesse James]
hello,
just wondering whether you share Tyres' love of rave and dance music or whether you are more of a rock man.
i ask really because your look in the "Skip to the End" doc reminded me of the lead singer of the Doves (but obviously much better looking), which came as a bit of a shock considering your on-screen appearance.


Bit of both Jesse, I was a big Led Zep fan as a kid, then became a rude boy at 16 , then Happy Mondays, Roses etc in my 20’s. Basically I always loved the sexy exciting stuff that made the boys and girls go mental. As me Ma says, ‘learn to dance and yer in with a chance’.

[fatseff1234]
hi, first of all i love u as tyres you are SOOOOOOOOOOO funny, neway i was just wonderin what you yourself would do in a zombie invasion????


Thank you for the love, can never get too much of that. I would set me up a heavily armed and mined mammy farm on Glastonbury Tor with heliport and crèche facilities.

[Amazongirl]
Hello there!
Just a couple of questions
a) Can I have a hug
b) Whats your favorite Toasted sandwich filling?


Of course you can have a hug,
everyone knows I’m the best in my price range. Yer classic cheese and ham done in a Breville. When done, snip off two opposing corners letting out the burny air and then re-toasting any melty cheese that escapes, creating crispy cheese. I’m dribbling as I type.

[paulaboz]
Hi, michael- love you in spaced by the way.
just wondered ... If you had a fish as a pet, what would you call it..?
oh and do you know anywhere cheap to stay in New York?
ta muchly
paula


Joe Pishy , don’t know why, it just sounds funny…. ‘Joe Pishy fish’. The famous Chelsea Hotel is not too dear. And worth it just to brag you stayed there. Jus don chib no ho.

[mngene]
Was up Tyres?
Did you ever throw any interesting real life mood swings towards the Spaced crew for their endless tongue twisters?


Air, bro. I used to sneak into Simons’ room at night and re-arrange his genitals into the shape of a nesting thrush, does that count?